Good morning everyone. Week 5 just concluded and really not much changed. Two wins and a loss, plus a bye. Let’s get right to it.
Last place goes to the Jets. I know, I know, all of the Jets’ problems are due to STDs various viral infections and everything will be better once he comes back. But for now, the Jets are being led by Luke Falk and there’s not enough quarterback whispers in the world to make that bum any good. I watched a 10 minute “highlight” package from this game. And I seriously feel terrible for anyone that was forced to subject themselves to the entire game…Seriously, three of the “highlights” were QBs missing wide open WRs for east TDs (to be fair two of them were Wentz). It also opened with the announcer saying, “the Eagles have the worst pass defense in the league.” Falk was able to muster 120 yds passing with 2 Interceptions and zero touchdowns (unless you count the pick 6 he threw). Bigtime free agent running back Le’Veon Bell was only able to muster 2.9 yds per carry and the only bright spot for the Jets was that something called Vyncint Smith had a 19-yard rushing TD. This is your 2019 Jets folks.
The Dolphins had a bye, but they may have suffered a loss anyway with what the Pats did to their next opponent…The Tank will truly be on the line this week.
On to the winners.
The Pats come in second place this week. They played another winless opponent and won, but they looked pretty shitty in the first half. In fact, they were even down 7-0 for the first time all season after the entire secondary forgot how too tackle and allowed some guy I’ve never heard of to take a simple reverse 65 or so yards for the score. Then the Pats kind of woke up, the defense decided to just shut down everything and the offense bumbled their way into the endzone. And the Nuge came to Yank me Shank me on the extra point. He did however hit a couple of short field goals in the first half, so basically the same as Shanksowski. The second half was far better for the Pats’ offense and they won the game comfortably, but until Brady gets his panties “unbunched”, this team is just going to be meh, on their way to 8 or 9-0. Then the real games start, and we can see what they are made of.
And that makes your first-place team, the Buffalo Bills. Look, the Bills are very, very good on defense. And their running game is solid, so they can withstand the stunningly average play of their quarterback. Also, they I hope they left cookies and milk out on Saturday night for Cairo Santos Clause, in thanks for him delivering them a victory. To Josh Aleen, this quote from the 3rd quarter of the Bills game pretty much sums up the Bills’ 2nd year QB, “Josh Allen making his reads, slips out of trouble…Intercepted.” Josh is a very large man, who is great athlete, thus hard to bring down. Kind of like a slim Roethlisberger, but he does not have the mental aptitude for the position that Ben does. If he can get the ball out on his first read, he’ll generally put it in the general vicinity of his receiver, but beyond that and the occasional nice scramble, he’s mostly useless. Remember, his longest “pass” of the day was basically a handoff on a jet sweep…Pretty boring. But hey, defense wins championships, right?