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Slick’s 2019 Week 9 AFCE Overreactions

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Slick’s 2019 Week 9 AFCE Overreactions
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Oh what a week, the AFC East has proven yet again what a disgrace of a division we are. At least we have the Bills to keep things respectable…Here we go.
 
Last place is a tough call this week, but when in doubt, pick the Jets. The Jets are really a glorious disaster. I mean they faced a team on Sunday that is actively trying to lose every game this season. And they got their asses kicked in spectacular fashion. Sam Darnold has been completely ruined by Adam Gase. Now, I never though much of Sam, but many “experts” believed that he at least stood a chance to be a respectable NFL QB. Those days are over, the Jets might as well grab Tua with the #1 pick and work on destroying his future next. There’s really not much else to say about the Jets, but I will openly laugh at and mock all of those fools who tried to tell me the Jets could be a borderline playoff team this year.
 
Second to last is the Dolphins. How on earth is it possible to try and lose a game and end up winning? The Fins are truly one of the few NFL franchises that could pull off such a feat. From Devante Parker outfighting a defender for a ball in the endzone (for possibly the first time in his career) to Fitz having flashbacks of his days in Buffalo, this team was just not ready for the challenge that stood in front of them. Last week, I applauded the Fins for their ability to out-dimwit the Steelers, but Adam Gase is a whole other story. You can’t just roll out the balls and expect to lose to that jackass, you have to show up every day and focus on the task at hand. Obviously the Fins started believing the national hype and thought that they could lose to anyone.
 
And in third to last place is the Frauds that are the New England Patriots. A few weeks ago, when I heard Kyle Van Noye self-proclaim the Pats’ defense “The Boogie Men”, I got a severe case of douche chills. But I ignored the sick feeling in my gut and continued to believe, then the Pats finally played a real, NFL caliber football team (a fairly average one at that) and they were absolutely humiliated. What a disgrace. I mean really, talk about reading your own press and believing your own hype…From the opening drive, the Pats were completely outclassed and got pushed around like they were the Jets. And let’s talk about the Pats’ offense. Mr. Bundchen to be specific. From his opening pass, Tom looked like a whiny bitch who’s been on the rag for the past four days. He overthrew open receivers, damn near got poor Philip Dorsett killed and once again, threw a wretched interception. A few weeks ago; we joked about it being “the annual Brady is finished game”, but I think this was it. Tom looks disinterested this season and he really needs to get over not having AB. Sorry Tom, Antonio is a piece of shit and the fact that you are all up in his Instagram feed like a thirsty 18 years old just makes you look like a bitch.
 
And on to the winner of the week.
 
The Buffalo Bills have really been the savior of the 2019 season for our little AFC community. I still don’t think Josh Allen is a true long term solution at QB, but he has proven that he’s got some balls and is fun to watch. (Sometimes just because you are always one play away from seeing something truly awesome or truly terrible.) I mean the Bills didn’t exactly have a real challenging opponent this week, and their offense is still fairly inept, but they did something very important in beating the Redskins, they broke the streak 11 straight losses as a franchise once they hit a record of 5-2. The Bills are surely going to be a playoff team this year and it looks like they could actually win the division if the Pats continue to suck so terribly. THIS IS YOUR YEAR BUFFALO!!!
 
Editor’s Note: Drinking those sweet, sweet APF tears.

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