Well, here’s something I didn’t think I’d say all year. Thanks to the Bills, we’ve avoided a winless week. Good god does our division suck. I mean there is a real chance that we have three teams pick in the top 10. So let’s get right after it.
Last place has to go to the Jets. Sorry Jets fans, I’d love to put the Pats last, but you just got smoked by the Bills and there is really nothing worse than that. I know there are Jets fans that somehow believe that this team isn’t terrible, but you are wrong. The only good players on this team are a safety and a defensive tackle, that is not good. Especially if you consider that the best players on your team are on a defense that gave up 41 points to the Matt Barkley and the Buffalo Bills. But please, tell me again how the Jets are poised to be good soon. I saw enough of Sam Darnold at USC to tell you that we don’t need to see any more. Use the #6 pick on anther QB.
In second to last, the Pats. I was thinking about doing a little what are you thankful for piece this week and had I gone that route, I would say that the Pats are definitely thankful that they get to play in the AFC East. For they are a pretty dysfunctional team from the top on down and if there was any sort of competent competition in this division, they might miss the playoffs. But they do play in the AFC East, so Brady will continue to see ghosts and throw the ball into the ground, Josh Gordon will continue to run the wrong routes, whoever is playing running back will continue to run into the ass of the nearest offensive lineman and the defense will be held together with duct tape and gum. And they will finish 11-5 or 12-4 and win the division, probably get a bye because the Steelers tied the Browns. And then they will get smoked by whoever comes into Foxboro for the first playoff game a la 2009. It’s clear that Belichick has checked out and Brady doesn’t believe in the team around him, so what’s the point. Just let the Bills make the playoffs again and take the winter off.
In third to last place, the Dolphins. The Fins stink too, they just stunk a little less than the rest of the hot garbage in the division this week. This is another game that just should have been forfeited, as “Not even god could’ve led the Fins to a win this week.” They have injuries and were playing against a juggernaut Packers team that was poised to reached .500 for the first time this season, how could they ever expect to win? But good news everybody, Ryan Tannehill’s severe case of skin failure is getting better, so you’ll soon have him throwing pick after pick instead of Brock. The Dolphins are basically the Jets with a South Florida tan, their best players are a couple of defenders, their coach is in way over his head and they haven’t had a decent QB in 20 years. But hey, at least they went undefeated nearly 50 years ago.
And on to the savior of the week…
Your Buffalo Bills. The Bills are on the verge of shocking the world. Now I know it was just the Jets, but Matt Barkley is the future. I mean did you see him command the field? I mean the Bills were so inspired by Barkley’s greatness that they had two offensive linemen score touchdowns. This is what Bills fans have been lusting for since the days of Jim Kelly (maybe Doug Flutie). Now speaking of Flutie, the Bills look like they are going to be presented with a chance to make that decision again, continue with a great QB who came to them by chance or stick by the young bust that they spent far too many resources on. Seeing as it took the Pegulas and Bills management over a season to cut ties with easily the worst QB in league history, I don’t have high hopes for them making the right choice this time. But that’s a conversation for after the Super Bowl parade. The Bills under Barkley could be the team that takes advantage of the age and arrogance of the Pats, then go on the road a la the 2001 Patriots and start a dynasty of their own.