Now that feels a whole lot more right. Three losses (two blowouts) and a ho hum win by the Pats. Not too much foreplay in this week’s article, let’s get right after it…
Guess who’s in last place? *check ballots* Yes, you are all right the Jets suck New York Tranny dong. What a disgrace this team is. I mean there is a lot of talent on this team, but they just don’t give a fuck, every last one of them is only there to collect a check and maybe party in Manhattan. I am appalled, most of us expected a step back from last year, but this is embarrassing. You have what was the best CB in the league completely checking out, getting fat and just not even caring anymore (funny how that happens when you get a huge guarantee in your final contract…). The Jets have two of the best defensive linemen in the league in Richardson and Wilkerson both of whom are young and should be playing for a big payday. Yet somehow the toxic culture in the Jets’ locker room has made them not interested in money. To the game…The Jets got the opportunity to play a bad Colts team who employs a moldy slice of swiss cheese for an offensive line. And they managed 1 sack. The Jets got thoroughly routed in all phases of the game and maybe this will be the last straw for Fitz. Guess what guy, no one believes in you because you suck horribly. The Bryce petty era has begun, it may only last until the 6th pick of the draft when the Jets do something stupid and draft the equivalent of Mark Sanchez 2.0 but at least Sleepy Todd has a QB that doesn’t think more about his beard than actually being a good QB. The Jets should rip this thing down to the studs this offseason, good luck with the rebuild.
In second to last place, and it was close this week. We find the bloated carcass of the Dolphins. Well it was fun while it lasted. The Fins finally got the opportunity to play an actual decent NFL team, and they got their doors blown off. What a joke. Tanny was, well Tanny. He sucked just enough to throw three interceptions and couldn’t cover Mike Wallace and company to save his life, allowing 38 points to an offense that is average at best. The Fins showed us that it is more than likely (more probable than not?) that they are a just below average team and will more than likely have their noses pressed up against the glass, gazing at the cool kids who get to play in the playoffs. What else happened in this game? Let’s see, it was pretty much over in the 1st quarter, Jay AJ&$@#*&yi has come crashing back to earth and is proving to us that he’s nothing but an average RB with below average vision. And the defensive front seven is not quite what we were all sold. Not even Kiko can save them from Tanny…
In third to last place, those choking dogs that are the Buffalo Bills. Come on Bills, you had a big lead and were dominating the game. Then the second half rolled around and I don’t know if someone told Rex that beating the Raiders would help out the Pats, or he just realized that they weren’t supposed to win that game. Whichever happened, Rex tucked his junk right up between his bulbous ass cheeks and forced his team to do the same. The Bills gave up 29 unanswered points in the third and fourth quarters. That is pathetic. Especially when you are supposed to be a defensive team with a defensive coach. Can we all agree that Tyrod is not an NFL QB? Man that guy sucks, he’s a decent running back, but the Bills were definitely smart to trick him into agreeing to the non-guaranteed deal he signed.
And now the only winner of the week, the Pats. It is fitting that the Pats honored their 2001 Championship team on the Day that QB, Tom Brady took a knee on the 201st victory of his career. This was a ho hum day for the Pats, they won the game easily, but I’m not sure anyone thinks it was overly impressive. Poor Jared Goff looked scared to be out there (maybe he’s not the best guy to have on my dynasty roster…) he constantly threw balls to Patriots’ defenders and when the Pats didn’t catch it, his own players didn’t either. Good news for the Pats, Kyle Van Noy (that’s his name right?) is the second coming of Jamie Collins and Lawrence Taylor. There you have it, a ho hum day for the Pats and a just another victory. Next week is the real deal though, the first time the Ravens gets to face the Pats since they started this whole deflategate saga. (You can bet that every bit of food they eat at the Providence Hilton will contain pubes)
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