Older AFCE

Slick’s Week 5 Overreactions- Almost a Return to Normalcy

Slick’s Week 5 Overreactions- Almost a Return to Normalcy
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Good afternoon everyone. Week 5 of the NFL season was a fun one for the AFC East, we had a nice even split, two winners, two losers and the return of the GOAT. Let’s get right to it…
Was there a doubt in anyone’s mind who would come in last this week? If there was, I’ll end the suspense right now; the Miami Dolphins are a wretched football team. I mean my god, what a putrid performance in all phases of the game. This is a team that has no problem spending boatloads of money on high profile players, is littered with high draft picks and top end talent and still sucks like a Dyson. We’ll get the low hanging fruit out of the way first- Ryan Tannehill’s time in Miami is fast coming to an end, we might as well add his name to the tombstone alongside the likes of Jay Feidler, Sage Rosenfels and Gus Ferotte. On the plus side, next year Fin fans can once again be filled with hope and optimism after the team overdrafts another questionable QB prospect (as there are no real QB prospects in the upcoming draft). And of course, if there were a good prospect, the Fins screwed themselves out of having a chance at drafting him when they “beat” the Browns. I mean this team can’t even lose right. Then there’s the defense. A unit that boasts names like Suh, Williams, Alonso and Jones just let Marcus “The Second Coming of Alex Smith” carve them up. What a disgrace. At least ownership doesn’t have to worry about there being a lot of fans in the building wearing bags over their heads…
On to third place. As we all know, I’d like nothing more than to be able to spin the Jets’ loss into last place. But the Fins are too bad and there was actually a little improvement by the Jets this week; at least Fitz didn’t throw any picks, bringing his projected total for the 2016 season down to 32 (he did try his best to throw at least one though). The Jets’ offense doesn’t warrant much discussion, so let’s talk about the defense…The Jets are known as a defense first organization and if that unit is their first priority, I’d hate to think of how much attention they pay to anything else. Much like the aforementioned Dolphins, the Jets’ defense is littered with names, each of whom has been wholly unimpressive this season. The elephant in the room (I call him this because he’s gotten as fat as one) is our old friend Mr. Revis. Each game he plays, it becomes more and more clear that he’s just cashing checks (big ones) at this point in his career; and there’s nothing the Jets can do about it because they guaranteed nearly all of his deal. All I can say for Woody Johnson is that at least he didn’t earn the money he’s wasting on this team.
Now let’s put the disgrace of those two team behind us and talk about something great, and when I say great, I mean the greatest that ever lived. In second place, we have the New England Patriots and newly reinstated Hall of Fame QB, Tom Brady. Brady had the good fortune of playing the Cleveland Browns in his return from a four week vacation. Brady was a little rusty in his return throwing for only 406 yards and 3 TDs, but each week should get a little better. Rob Gronkowski had his hamstring magically heal and he looked very much like the beast he has been in his career and the Imagination Agency, Martellus Bennet seemed to be invisible to the Browns’ defense and literally walked into the endzone for 3 TDs. The defense is still questionable, when the Browns had a semi-capable NFL QB on the field, they just marched down the field for a game tying TD. Cyrus Jones is dead to me, what a disgrace that guy is. First, he was about 10 yards away from his man in the endzone on the Browns opening TD, then he got himself ejected from the game for throwing punches when a player had the audacity to try and block him on a play. Look for the Pats to make a trade of some sort to help bolster the third CB spot on their roster, because they have at best only two CBs on the roster now (I’d argue they only really have 1).
And for the first time in the history of the Overreaction series, the Buffalo Bills have a three week run as the #1 team in the division. The Bills traveled across the country to do battle with the co-leaders of the NFC West and not even Tyrod Taylor lining up behind the guard could stop them. I mean it is kind of fortunate that they were playing Jeff Fisher on a two game winning streak, so it was kind of assured that the Rams would not be prepared to win the game. The defense was flying around and once again scored a game clinching TD, it seems that Rex is having fun once again designing confusing defenses which should frighten teams in the NFL. And the offense, I already mentioned Tryod lining up behind the guard (but come on, you didn’t expect me to only mention it once), so let’s talk about Shady. Is he actually returning to the form that made him a star in Philly? Has he finally cast off the shackles of his former racist head coach? Sure looks that way to me. The Bills are gearing up for a huge showdown on Halloween Eve against the Pats, if they keep playing the way they are playing, they could win that game and secure the Ryan Brothers’ jobs for the next decade. Way to go Buffalo, keep on keepin’ on.

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