Tanks for the Memories


Tanks for the Memories
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That’s it folks, it’s over. You can root for Miami to win again, it barely matters win or lose this week. Sure there’s some moonshot that gets Miami to #2, but the reality is we’re stuck at 5, maybe dropping to 6. When your kids ask you in 20 years why Miami still sucks so bad, you can point to Jason Sanders making a game winning OT field goal with 00s on the clock to beat the Bengals and send Miami down to pick #5. Okay, I’m being dramatic, but just consider this: A lose at the bengals and Miami would be picking 2nd in the 2020 draft. Anyway, the tank is over, from here on out if they lose this much you can fire the coach. One week, and one more time, Tanks for the memories, Tanks for the memories even though they weren’t that great, wins taste like losing but sweeter.

Now for the coal in our collective dolphin fan stockings, the Power Tankings, presented by CGC5783:

This sucks.

And the final Fin Fan Rooting Rankings:

Despite two Giant wins from the NYC area teams (hehe), Miami gave us the worst result of the week with their victory over the Bengals. The Dolphins “can” finish #2 still but there’s better odds trying to convince me to start rooting for the bills (aside from their likely matchup iwth the texans in the wild card round). The worst miami can do is #6, so whatever, go beat the patriots if you can Flores, I still hate you. 

  1. Ravens (vs Steelers): Knock Tomlin out of the playoffs with your backups please.
  2. Titans (@ Houston): The other alternative for keeping the steelers out of the playoffs. Using fivethirtyeights game predictions, there’s an 81.4% chance the steelers miss the playoffs, though that doesn’t account for baltimore and likely houston resting starters.

To get miami to #2, here’s what has to happen:

  1. Lions (vs GB): 15% chance
  2. Redskins (@ Dallas): 18% chance
  3. Giants (vs Eagles): 30% chance
  4. Patriots (vs Miami): 90% chance

Probability of all 4 outcomes is 0.729%, however, #6 and any of the first 3 results would move miami up 1 pick per loss, with a possible exception for the Redskins pending SOS outcomes.

Fk it, Go Dolphins!


From TSR: Merry Xmas all, thank you for your support…..this article will be it until Sunday GameDay


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