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The Sideline Report – Fantasy Championship Edition

The Sideline Report – Fantasy Championship Edition
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This is it! The moment we’ve all been waiting for! That’s right, it’s nearly time for me to stop writing these articles so you can stay in the morning links until Slick’s 1pm article.
 
Well that’s fine. I didn’t like you anyway!
 
Ok I didn’t mean that. I am excited about the finals in Dynasty and D-League though! Let’s check it out!
 
Dynasty League
 
As partially predicted (since I believe in jinxes) Dynasty Finals are going to be contested by Down with ODB vs. Belichick Yo’ Self. ODB put a hurting on Tyrod’s Tailor 173.96-121.86. Tailor was hampered by the likes of Carlos Hyde, TY Hilton, Tyler Boyd and Stefon Diggs all of which scored single digits. Despite getting 20+ points out of Russell Wilson and Ezekiel Elliot this match up was essentially no contest. ODB took advantage of the Dolphins D/ST facing the Jets, and swapped in Zach Ertz to cover the punch happy Jordan Reed (Seriously…why do athletes punch each other in the helmet?) and it was pretty much smooth sailing.
 
For the championship match up, ODB is favored to win by 7 but there are some key matchups to consider. For ODB Larry Fitzgerald is going against Seattle and while he plays from the slot and avoids Richard Sherman it’s no easy task scoring against them. It will require volume to get him to earn points. Belichick has Brady in but it’s against the Jets where he may not be throwing much. Blount is likely to have a huge game but I don’t think the Pats at home will need to toss the ball around the yard especially if Petty doesn’t recover from his Dolphin sandwich on Saturday. His best play is likely going to be Mike Evans facing the ghost of the Saints Defense. The predicted 16 points should be laughably blown away.
 
This is going to be a tough contest. In both previous encounters, ODB rolled Belichick outscoring them by 112 points. Past indicators aside, this should be a nail biter!
 
Some chicanery, skullduggery, and shenanigans in the loser’s bracket though! What do you get when you combine Home Run Darby and Tuck a Buck Express for the number 1 over all pick? Luciano with both #1 and #2. Seems that the two individuals who are bringing their blood, sweat and tears to this important game this weekend are actually doing it for their Puppet Master: Thumbs.
 

Dance for me, monkeys!
-Luciano probably


 
Throughout the season, both Darby and Express found themselves trading away their Round 1 draft picks (which clearly helped them over all, didn’t it?) and Luciano is the benefactor. It is unfortunate that this is going to come down to which guy earns the number 1 pick only for someone else but that’s how it goes. There had been some hope that a non-Direwolves owned owner would make it to the game but alas, it was not meant to be. It’s a solid strategy and by the luck of the draw this game is essentially meaningless aside from draft positioning in the subsequent rounds.
 
D League
Match of the week in D League was Dud’s Studs edging out Juggernaught 153.24 to 149.92. I had predicted the game would turn on the legs of their running backs and those guys definitely didn’t disappoint. McCoy, Freeman, Elliot, and Johnson all showed up with stellar performances and even with Juggernaught having Ty Montgomery in his line up to toast the opposition, they also had underachieving stars like Kelvin Benjamin, Isaiah Crowell, and Stefon Diggs drag his team down.
 
There isn’t much to say about Liquor Box’s destruction at the hands of Put your drake on my other than the odds of that happening again are likely slim to none. This week was the 4th that Drew Brees scored 30 or more points, and he’s up against Tampa Bay where he scored under 10 earlier this season. Miami doesn’t get to play the Jets again no matter how much fun that would be, and Bilal Powell is not going to be as successful against the Pats defense as he was against Miami. Speaking of which….I thought Miami’s defense was supposed to be good or something…how did Powell go bonkers on them?
 
The finals between Studs and Drake should be a good one. These two are evenly matched up, but there are some things to watch for. Drake is going to rely on Powell again but we all know Powell is kissed with the “Anyone but Powell” curse. Forte could see more work if the Jets are stupid…you make your own conclusion of that statement. I hope for Powell’s sake he finds a way out of the Jets organization this off season and to a place that could utilize his talents better. Freeman may find it more difficult to gash Carolina’s defense next week especially if Luke Kuechly gets suited up in the middle. Dud is again going to rely on his massive running back talents and hope that Sammy Watkins can contribute to the cause beyond a catch or two for 15 yards.
 
Call me a homer or whatever you want, I’m going with Dud for this victory. I feel like there are too many instances where a game may turn to a blow out so your possession receivers may not be as useful as they might normally be. That seems to be a lot of what Drake’s lineup consists of and he might get bit by game flow.
 
There you have it! The Championship edition of the Sideline Report Fantasy Round Up is in the books. Good luck to everyone in all of their leagues and Happy Festivus Riot, Happy Hanukkah, Merry Kwanza, and a Merry Christmas! May Santa bring all you good little boys hotties of the internet this year! Which basically means hope that CJ is around to post Imgur links for you. In the meantime, here’s Pouty Brady:
 

My life is too perfect. I wish something would go wrong!

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