Older AFCE

Trolling Thursday: Post Super Bowl Edition

Trolling Thursday: Post Super Bowl Edition
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Did you guys get my text?

Now that the 2014 NFL season is finally over a month into 2015, we can finally start looking towards the key NFL event dates between now and the 2015 season opener, starting with signing CFL free agents on February 10th. Not for the Steelers though. They have been targeting CFL’s talent-rich environment for months, and were granted special permission to sign a much needed linebacker in a rule-bending maneuver unheard of and almost Bill Belichick-like. Teams should be up and arms over this signing. I mean over the past 35 years the CFL has supplied NFL defenses with great players such as Cameron Wake, … uh, and, well… okay, Cameron Wake. Never mind. Carry-on, Pittsburgh.

Unfortunately the NFL won’t allow us to focus solely on 2015 without finishing up all of the “gates” left behind in 2014.

So apparently recent reports out of NFL headquarters are conflicting with the original reports out of NFL headquarters that stated 11 of 12 balls were significantly under inflated and now its just one ball (although the other 10 were still under-inflated). What they both have in common is that an elderly man took bags of balls into the restroom. I assume this is no longer a story because there is nothing unusual about an elderly man locked in a Patriots bathroom stall with 12 sets of balls. And forget the statistical anomaly regarding a player’s fumble performance while on the Patriots compared to his stats on another team, or the unusually spectacular fashion in which the Patriots perform in cold weather compared to the competition. Nothing to see here. Move along. Seriously, this is a story that not even NBC Anchor Brian Williams could make up. Does he work for the NFL? Speaking of Brian, his current string of “copter-gate” lies has qualified him to be the next US Secretary of State, joining Rodger Goodell as a potential nominee… but back to football, or whatever we were discussion before.

Shouldn’t a team have to win before getting punished for cheating? That’s supposed to be how it works. The poor Browns finally show promise, and the NFL wants throw this “gate” into the spotlight and take away draft picks. That would be “deflating” to the Browns fans and its community. I doubt this has anything to do with “inflating” the severity of the texts to deflect from any other gate… After all, the NFL threatened the Steelers with a loss of draft picks due to “dancegate” last year, and made it their top priority after the Super Bowl… by never speaking a word of it. That said, if Farmer was guilty of texting in-game strategies, I think I speak for the rest of the AFC North when I say the Browns should be given a special exemption by the league to keep doing it.

If there weren’t enough distractions, the NFL decided to add “soundgate” into the mix (see what I did there) claiming that the Falcons pump noise through their sound system. While the Falcons owner did admit to some wrongdoing, you wouldn’t catch anyone in Seattle or Kansas City admit to such things even though its physically and statistically impossible to go from the Century Field’s previous record of 112 decibels to 137 decibels without injecting another variable(s) into the mix. Coincidentally it coincided with the NFL’s loosening of their noise policy. If they severely bust Atlanta for this infraction, its not because of the noise violation, its because they have a horrible fan base and because Goodell wants to move the team to London, LA, Vegas, and possibly North Korea, which makes as much sense as Europe. Start buying those tickets, Bengals fans or you will be next!

So lets move past these gates and look forward to the 2015 season. We are just hearing a bunch of hot air anyway.

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