Looney and afcenews.com scoop the big guys
The scene at the AFC coaches’ press conference was fitting for all. It also provided afcenews blogger SpotTheLooney with the opportunity to scoop the big guys and declare the Buffalo Bills the 1st repeat sleeper pick in NFL history. Here’s the setting-
[dropcap][/dropcap]New York Jets coach Rex Ryan was surrounded by a large group of media who wanted to know who would be the Jets starting QB in 2013 and if last years Tebow/Sanchez/Sparano combo had ruined his life forever.
[dropcap][/dropcap]To the right was Miami Dolphins coach Joe Philbin and a throng of reporters trying to get Philbin to guarantee a 2013 Superbowl Victory after exceeding the 2 Trillion Dollar Federal Deficit with his wild Free Agent spending. A translation of Philbin’s comment was roughly interpreted as , “good things happen to me, Tannehill sucks if they don’t”.
[dropcap][/dropcap]Belichick responded to the questions concerning the loss of Welker, Lloyd, Hernandez, and Gronkowski with a 15 minute commentary on building a team with 5 Ferrari’s and 48 Fiats or a lot of dependable Fords and Chevys. He final comments compared the off-season period to that of electing a new pope followed by snorts, sucking noises, and grunts until the press left.
In the middle of the madness was new Buffalo Bills coach Joe Mallone a former NYC Private Detective and Pop-Warner player. His table was relatively empty with the exception of a few homeless people stealing condiments and this afcenews blogger. Few in the national media cared to know what Mallone and the Bills were up to. They’re a small-market team that finished 6-10 last season and haven’t been to the playoffs in 14 years.
But by this time next year, people will be talking about Buffalo. The Bills are my sleeper pick in 2013. Here are five reasons why Buffalo will get over the hump and finish 1st in the Division.
Reason No. 1: Bills made right moves in free agency
Analysis: I will give myself a pat on the back. I was one of the first to note Buffalo’s plan to sign players better than the players they cut. I’ll spare you the details but their moves were brilliant. All of them.
Reason No. 2: Double trouble at running back
Analysis: This repeat reason basically states they are healthy; there may not be a more dynamic running back duo in the NFL than Fred Jackson and C.J. Spiller. The plan to run Spiller til he pukes and close with Fred looks like the perfect way to blend these two into the offense. Vomiting for the Bills but migraine headaches for opposing defenses are expected.
Reason No. 3: AFC East is weakening
Ooooh that smell, Cant you smell that smell, Ooooh that smell
The smell of doom surrounds you.
No moves the other AFCE teams made this year will improve their teams. Only Buffalo has escaped the doom.
Reason No. 4: Players are getting healthy
Analysis: I usually try to avoid the injury excuse, because every team has them, but it legitimately applies to the Bills. Buffalo has suffered key injures every season. While this means little it sounds good.
Reason No. 5: The Kolb/EJ/Tuel QB combo is the real deal.
Analysis: These fine QB’s give new meaning to the next man up concept. I predict this will become obvious to all as these players take the field and out-perform better known competition.
That’s all folks. Nothing but the best and scooping all the rest for afcenews.com
By Spot The Looney
General Disclosure/Disclaimer of material provided by Looney or lunatics in general: Whether intentional or not some readers may consider this writers work product to contain satire, sarcasm, faulty math, unsupported conclusions, and other literary devices including but not limited to outright falsifications. The writer neither understands or acknowledges the existence of such things or is otherwise unaware of their existence and therefore has no opinion of the impact of potentially non-existing concepts.
Double Secret Disclosure: Any similarities between this article and that of James Walker published on April 12, 2012 do not exist. http://espn.go.com/blog/afceast/post/_/id/40811/why-bills-are-my-sleeper-pick-for-2012