Sideline Report Fantasy Round Up

Sideline Report Fantasy Round Up
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After a week of despair regarding the Buffalo Bills and loving everything Fantasy Football, I come to you this week confused. Not only did I get beat in 3 out of 5 leagues, two of my losses came from improbable come backs. Fantasy football sucks!
Let’s start things off this week with the D League!
The Evil Corp lived up to its name and put a beating down on A Gurley Has No Name 209.92-162.96. This is the highest score recorded in any Sideline Report fantasy league from its inception. A Gurley just can’t catch a break. At 1-2 this would have been a victory over half the league, but Hoodie’s squad of Patriot style cheaters all performed well. It helps when your average player score is 19.08. Evil Corp takes on Dud’s Studs (who won again this week) for a battle of supremacy in the D League. Gurley moves on to Le’Veon A Bong for a battle for the basement.
The closest score also involves a massive comeback as Liquor Box came back from a deficit of 115-45 after the 1pm games to win 149.4-132.1 over White Walkers (aka me). There is nothing quite like watching a near 100 point lead evaporate into thin air as studs post 0’s. Way to go Kelvin Benjamin! I’d also point out the amazing move I made to pick up Jamison Crowder who scored 20 points on my bench. Jerk.
Liquor Box was anchored by Mike Evans and a surprisingly effective TY Hilton. If not for that huge TD reception this game would have been even closer. Liquor still would have come out on top but then I could have claimed this game is rigged against me. Liquor Box moves on to the last place Bradys Deflated Bals, and White Walkers draws I Love Boobs.
Dynasty League
I understand that it sounds like I’m only reporting my games, but I keep losing close ones and/or blowing out my opponents. This week in Dynasty I exacted revenge on Dud’s Studs for eeking out a win in the D league by crushing him like a bug. Dud’s team didn’t even qualify to earn Social Security, posting a score of 62.68 vs. the 143.84 from Down with ODB. Dud had some unfortunate performance like Ryan Matthews scoring -0.5, Willie Snead scoring 0, Texans getting trounced by a no name QB scored 1, and a couple of other under 5 point performances. Brighter days are ahead. There’s no way Dud can be this snake bit for the season. Dud seeks redemption against Evil Corp this week while ODB moves to a rematch of last year’s final against Direwolves.
Closest matchup was a 17.5 point victory for FSociety over Keenan & Kelce 133.86-116.36. Keenan & Kelce were done in by the underperforming Latavius Murray and Jason Witten. Fsociety was bolstered by an explosive week by Emmanuel Sanders and Michael Crabtree. They matched up pretty evenly up and down the card, but Fsociety just barely escapes with a win. Fsociety is now on to Belichick Yo’Self and Keenan & Kelce takes on Home Run Darby this week.
Key Injuries
This week was a big injury week for the defense which is a change of pace for fantasy owners. Washington’s Deangelo Hall tore his ACL (something something karma something), and Manti Te’o tore his achilles. Careful with the Skins, and Chargers defenses if you’re streaming.
The Patriots shut down the Texans defense on Thursday and a lot of us were wondering what in the holy hell happened to JJ Watt. Well turns out he’s injured his back badly enough that he’s going to the IR. ESPN believes it might be for the season. He never got himself right after his off season surgery and the reigning Defensive Player of the Year is joining a lot of big named defensive players on the shelf. So stay wary of the Texans D/ST, too.
As for players you’d likely care about, Russell Wilson continues to rack up injuries to his lower body. Keep an eye out as he sprained his MCL. Give your back up a solid look this week. Running back injuries weren’t as bad, but you still have Shane Vereen landing on IR with a torn triceips, and a big question mark surrounding Jeremy Langford. He was carted off the field against Dallas and is going to be out 4-6 weeks. Jordan Howard gets an immediate boost in value, but is there actual value to be had in Chicago beyond Alshon Jeffery? Yes. Yes there is. Go. Go Now and snag him if he’s available. Thomas Rawls, a player no one has in any league because I stole him everywhere, is also now officially injured. His slow start can be attributed to a crack in his femur. Be impressed he played 2 weeks on a broken leg. Be annoyed that he cost you a high draft pick. If by some miracle Christine Michael is available pounce in him. Go check. You never know who’s available.
Players to Pick Up
Take a look around your fantasy leagues for steals in Week 4 like Terrelle Pryor (you know…the guy who legit played QB, WR and Safety). Look, we all know Cleveland is a dumpster fire after they imploded against Miami, but there’s value in touches and he gets them. PPR beasts like Coke Beasley might also be available.
As mentioned earlier, Jordan Howard has been an heir apparent in Chicago for a while now and he’s going to get his chances. Stash him now if you can.
There are calls for Orleans Darkwa to be picked up with Shane Vereen hitting the IR and Rashad Jennings out with a hurt hand. He and Paul Perkins could potentially see more work, or Jennings could return this week and take all the carries away. You could do worse than grabbing an RB in fantasy right now, but you might be able to do better like with his teammate Bobby Rainey. According to some (I’m just hearing this…a lot of people have been talking) Darkwa gets a huge workload if Jennings remains out but if he’s back it’s a timeshare between Jennings and Rainey with Darkwa looking in from the outside.
Carson Wentz is looking pretty legit for a rookie QB. Bye weeks are coming and big names are taking a breather. You could do worse than Wentz for a bye week fill in, or as a potential “screw Fitzpatrick” replacement. Just remember he’s off this week so snagging him now is future proofing vs useful this week.
That’s it for now. Remember that bye weeks start this week so pay attention to your line ups and if you can get yourself prepared in advance DO IT! It’s always best if you can grab a player who is currently on the bye and has no value to you now vs. trying to get them after the fact. Be prepared! And if you believe the bad guy in movie Speed, shoot the hostage.


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