Slick’s 2018 Free Agency Overreactions

Slick’s 2018 Free Agency Overreactions
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Hey guys, how’s the offseason going?
Free agency opened up and it’s been pretty wild across the AFC East lately, so I figured I’d update the standings in the race for the offseason title.  Here we go.
In last place, we find the Pats.  There are quite a few people here in New England running around with buckets on their heads because the sky is indeed falling.  There is more turmoil in Foxboro than we’ve seen since the days of Bill Parcells.  Let’ start with the exits.  Dion Lewis – out.  Malcom Butler – out (but everyone knew that). Nate Soldier – out.  Danny Amendola – out.  Of these four, Soldier is by far the most surprising and potentially crippling.  Which is funny, because he’s not even that good, but the genius Bill Belichick decided that not having a backup plan at left tackle is no big deal with a 41year old QB.  And Amendola, that is a sign of some turmoil.  This is a Brady guy, he follows Tom everywhere and has taken pay cuts the last three years to stay around Tom.  Lewis we all knew would be gone because the Pats place zero value on the position and the only thing I’ll say about Butler is this.  When the pats opted to not pay Revis (whatever he became in NY afterward doesn’t matter), because as the owner said, they “need to save money for the young kids coming up”.  Those young kids were:  Chandler Jones, Jamie Collins Dont’a Hightower and Malcolm Butler.  The Pats still have one of those four left and he is signed to a very team friendly deal.  Where did the money go Bill?
There have been some moves made by the Pats, some good, some bad and some meh…They signed, re-signed or traded for 5 players who have zero value outside of special teams, sure that makes sense when you don’t have a left tackle.  They did trade for Danny Shelton, who I don’t hate (yet).  They also traded for another McCourty…If there are two of them, does that mean they will be two steps late?  And lastly, they signed that guy from Atlanta with the “Tully Banta Cain” stat line.  He did have a career high 9.5 sacks last year, but 6 of them came in one game, against a third string tackle.  (I don’t count Jeremy Hill because he sucks so bad he won’t make the team)

In second to last place, the Fins.  I say this because they’ve been less active than most.  The exits have been huge Suh – out, Timmons – out, Mike Pouncey – out, Julius Thomas – out.  Although huge is more a description of their waistlines, not their talent.  The only “surprise” of the bunch I’d say is Suh, he will be a big loss for the team, but if you’re looking to rebuild (as the Fins clearly are), you can’t have that fat body and that fat contract.  The Timmons signing really turned out to be a home run, huh?  As for the other two, they suck so I’m not sure anyone is sad to see them go…
On to the additions.  Not a whole lot of activity with the Fins.  They did swipe Danny Amendola from the Pats.  It’s a good signing for the Fins, if he’s engaged and not just there to retire on South Beach…He did sign a modeling contract with a Miami agency last year and his lady friend also does a lot of modeling work down there…Just something to keep an eye on.  The Fins also overpaid Albert Wilson, the under-achieving WR form the Chiefs.  I have no opinion on him other than that.

Second place, the Bills.  The Bills certainly have been active.  They started the offseason by exiling Tyrod Taylor to Cleveland.  The Pegulas finally got their wish and completed the destruction of this poor kids’ life.  I’m not sure if it a racial thing (I would guess it is though), but for some reason they have had it out for Tyrod since day 1, and all he ever did was pour out his heart and soul for their team.  Besides that, there have not been all that many exits or cuts that I can think of.
But there sure have been additions…First was Star Lotulelei ho has the chance to be a beast in a Bills uniform.  Then comes AJ McCarron, a guy that nearly did the impossible; win a playoff game for the Bengals.  In fact, if it wasn’t for the aforementioned Jeremy Hill sucking terribly and Vontez Burfect being Vontez Burfect, he would have.  Travaris Cadet is there too, although he’s not that good.  And then the great news, Kyle Williams is back in the fold.  Unless they fall victim to the 2nd year HC slump (which is a very real possibility), the Bills could very well return to the playoffs.

And first place, the J-E-T-S Jets.  Yeah, the Jets do offseason championships pretty well, too bad they don’t do regular season nearly as well…They started by cutting Mo Wilkerson.  He’s fat and sucks now anyway.
Then they went and got players…Re-signed Josh McCown, because 40,000 year old QBs are worth it.  Signed a kicker, signed Isiah Crowell (one of the most underperforming RBs in history, so a perfect Jet), signed Trumaine Johnson (I don’t really know who that is, but his name looks familiar).  Then the big one, signed Teddy Gloves to a one year deal.  This was a sneaky good move that I didn’t think the Jets were capable of.  So, Teddy’s leg is likely gangrenous.
And then the Jets went and did something very Jet-like.  They traded nearly the entire first half of their draft to move up three spots in the draft in hopes of landing a QB.  Unfortunately for them, they are going to be to be out of luck.  Looks like the Jets will have the choice of Baker Mayfield (Buster) or Josh Rosen at #3.  Rosen is out, because he has been very outspoken against the President and the Jets’ owner Woody Johnson won’t have that.  He literally bought himself a spot in this administration.  So that leave Buster Mayfield.  I like his Moxie, but he’s too short and too inaccurate to make the NFL throws.


So there you have it.  Maybe I’ll write something again soon.  But at least most of you can rest easy that the fires of Foxboro are burning string.

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