AFCE

Slick’s 2018 Season’s Over-Reactions

Slick’s 2018 Season’s Over-Reactions
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Well another year has come to pass and the AFC East looks much like it has for the better part of two decades.  The Pats won, the Jets lost and half the division is without a head coach.  Hey, at least it’s nearly 60 degrees as I write this.
 
So let’s waste no time and talk about the worst of the worst, the New York Jets.  The Jets are supposed to have a great core of young leaders, those leaders led their teammates to show up late and skip practices all week in the leadup to their annual “Let’s go golfing” game.  So half the team got to sleep in, giving Todd Bowles a truly fitting send off.  The players that were there, tried hard, but being nearly bereft of talent, they were unable to muster any sort of offense against one of the worst defenses the league has seen in years.  But never fear Jets fans, we were all told to “just wait until next year” when Sam Darnold is one year closer to being out of the league (or a backup in Dallas) and you can start thinking about the next great Jets QB.  Sam did make like three good throws in the game, so you should be excited, Sam is just as capable as Akili Smith.  No worries, the Jets are set to hire a new head coach and start the process all over again.  And lucky for them, they are keeping their GM who has been a laughing stock around the league and their ownership is a group of who’s greatest accomplishments were the speed at which they swam through their mother’s uterus to reach the egg first. Should go well.
 
Next up on the shitty list, the Dolphins.  I know Dolphin fans would like us all to believe that their organization is any less pathetic than the Jets’ but in reality, if we look at the “modern era” of NFL football, the Jets have probably had more success.  Think about that Fin fans, you suck so bad, you look to the Jets for heights to aspire to.  Really the only difference between the two of you is a couple thousand miles and your owner actually earned his money.  That’s not to say he knows anything about running a football team though.  In what should be a surprise to no one, the Fins fired Mike Tannenbaum as their GM, but the brilliance of the move was that Ross actually wanted to keep Gase as the HC, but he stupidly gave Gase control over the roster, therefore making it impossible to hire another GM without firing the coach.  Brilliant! At least all the players that Gase traded to good teams got a good laugh out of his firing, so the comedy extends beyond their play on the football field.  And hey, at least you still have Tannehill, this has got to be the year he gets good, right?  4-12 will be an achievement in 2019.
 
Now, I’m going to divert from the normal course this week, because calling the Bills a “winner” is very disingenuous.  The future is bright for the Bills and their fans, they have a decent young running back that they can play at QB, a couple of try hard WRs and a defense that could easily be considered average.  And they have one thing that the rest of the peasants in the division don’t have, a head coach.  Or well, a head clapper.  The Bills could easily go 7-9 next year, thus giving our friends from the north a reason to forget that they live in literally the worst place in America (outside of Florida).  The Bills were able to humiliate the Dolphins last weekend in their annual “who can get out of the parking lot first” game.  But it was nice to send Kyle Williams off with a win, that guy was an excellent player for his entire career and really deserved more than spending his entire career playing for the Bills.
 
And in first place, the Pats.  As usually, the Pats won the division.  They looked terrible doing it, but of course, BB is a jeanyus and predicted the rest of the AFC would be equally inept, therefore handing the Pats the #2 seed in the playoffs.  So at least they won’t lose in the wildcard round.  But hey, this is a place of positivity, the Pats are off to the playoffs and of course everything will be as it always has been.  Bill Belichick is suddenly going to care again and Brady will TB12 his way to being 35 again- That’s what bye weeks do for you. (Although most of you don’t understand what those are…)  To be honest, there’s really not much to talk about here, the Pats destroyed a shitty Jets team, locked up the #2 seed and are the worst road team in the AFC playoffs. They are mentally weak, but play well at home so assuming Andy Reid does Andy Reid things, they may not lose until the Super Bowl.

 

Happy New Year!!!  May 2019 bring all of your teams mockable draft picks.

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