Slick’s 2018 Week 5 Overreactions

Slick’s 2018 Week 5 Overreactions
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Ha!  What a week!  The second 3-1 week of the season for our little AFC East community, which is something that no one expected…So without further ado, let’s piss off some Fin fans.
In last place we find the only loser of the week, the Miami LolPhins.  The Fins stormed out to an early 17-0 lead that looked insurmountable. Then the Miami Mannequin dusted off his old Joe Philbin training and put his mind on the Cracker Barrel’s early bird special.  And the defense, which is somehow supposed to be the strength of this team, allowed Fire Crotch to shred them for 24 4thquarter points.  But hey, the defense actually only gave up 13 points, if the offense wasn’t criminally inept, then maybe, just maybe they would have a chance to win another game this year.  Hey guys, you remember when the Fins were 3-0 and people thought that they were one of the 10 best teams in the league.  Ahh, good times.  3-13 is still on the table.
Now for the winners…
Third place this week will go to the Pats.  It’s fairly close this week, but beating the Colts, at home, on Thursday night isn’t exactly something that gets me too excited.  Especially when the already depleted Colts seemed to lose another player to injury on every other play.  But a win is a win and that’s better than a loss, so here we are.  It was nice to see that Brady and his Boyfriend still have the type of electric chemistry that we’re all searching for in a partner. Although Tom was still a little erratic with his throws, things looked a lot more like the offense we Pats fans are used to.   Oh yeah, and Josh Gordon is the second coming of Randy Moss.  But the defense still kind of sucks, so we’ll see what happens when they run into a real opponent this week.
Next up, the Jets. The Chosen One did what he needed to do. Which in this case wasn’t much as the running game was in record setting form on Sunday.  Heading into the game, I was hearing a lot of the “experts” talk about the vaunted Denver defense and how the Jets should probably just forfeit the game.  But those of us in the know could sense that this could just be one of those games where the Jets creep up behind their opponent and gives them a Sneaky Castro…And that’s just what happened.  The Jets ran all over the porous Bronco defense and Anakin used his mastery of the force to drop TD passes all over them at just the right moments.  Rumor has it even Sleepy Todd woke up long enough to congratulate his young QB.  Things are starting to come together for the Jets, unfortunately they chose a red headed QB, which doesn’t bode well for the future.
And in first place, the Bills.  Talk about a Sneaky Castro…The Bills welcomed the Titans this week, who were fresh off their recent defeat of the Jags, who previously embarrassed the Patriots. Obviously, by internet logic, the Bills are now the team to beat in the AFC East.  Coach Sean McDermott is proving to be a very sly coach. Employing the old “bore your opponent into submission” technique to perfection after taking an early lead. Now if only the tyrants at the state house in Albany would just legalize butt chugging, we could be in store for an early 90’s style run by the Bills.
That’s all I’ve got. As you can see I was not very well prepared this week…I’ll try and be better in the future.

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