Slick’s AFCE Overreactions

Slick’s AFCE Overreactions
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Week Three Overreactions

Well this week sucked. All four AFC East Teams played this week and we ended up with a record of 1-5 (beating the Raiders by only 7 gives the Pats a win, but it also counts as two losses). We saw each and every one of our favorite teams thoroughly embarrass their fan-bases. Sigh…let’s get to it…

In last place I present your New England Patriots. What a pathetic performance, it’s games like that when I start to think that the game might be passing Bill by and Brady really is on his way out. I’m sorry, but deciding that protecting arguably the best QB of all time with a tuba player who just picked up football on a whim four years ago on some farm in Utah is downright negligent. The rest of Pats’ offensive line sucks, there’s no doubt that Solder was a bad pick (something that’s become an underlying theme of Belichick’s reign as GM; he might be a giant man but being giant means nothing if you’re slow and have bad technique.   The rest are guys who a just a step above practice squad level, let’s hope that the addition of Stork brings the much needed stability that left when Bill decided that sacrificing Brady to the football gods, “was in the best interests of the team.” If Bill and company can’t get over their own arrogance quickly, this team is all done and will struggle to finish 9-7. I can say this- Sunday was a dark day to be a Pats fan. We learned a lot about this “team” that we root for on one play; Tom Brady laid a sweet cut block on a Shane Vereen run and not one person on the field attempted to help him up or give him an “atta boy” for doing something that most QBs would never do. This feels like 2009 all over again.

Moving on, in third place we have the Miami Dolphins. Fins fans were riding high when Tanny and Co beat the Pats week 1, now we see what kind of accomplishment that really was- not a big one. Monday dawned with all of Miami calling for Ryan the Great’s head on a brunch buffet on South Beach and pleading for someone to finally just flip the off switch on the Joe-Bot so we can just start over and add another name to the list of QBs and coaches since Dan and Don. If you hadn’t guessed, the Fins got smoked by the previously winless Chiefs. The Kool-Aid Man’s offense made a mockery of the vaunted Dolphins’ defense, led by a back-up running back who had over 125 yards rushing and Alex Smith who somehow threw for three touchdowns even though he can’t throw. If getting shredded on defense wasn’t enough, the “South Beach Fatties” obviously had their minds on cheeseburgers and mojitos because rarely do you see that many passes bouncing off the faces and hands of a receiving core. (the greasy Lays fingers probably don’t help either) This two game losing streak has put the Fins back in familiar terror down in the basement, lucky for them they’ve got a roommate.

The Jets lost to the Bears on Monday Night Football. Not that anyone was all that surprised by this turn of events, but it was a little surprising how it happened. Geno Smith, who has shown so much promise and improvement (according to Jets fans and really no one else) showed us that he is still Geno Smith. On the second play from scrimmage young Geno closed his eyes and threw a pass “right to” Ryan Mundy who promptly returned it 45 yards for a touchdown. And it was pretty much downhill from there. On the plus side, no one from the Jets got themselves ejected from the game (well I did go to sleep at halftime so I could have missed something), so there’s that. Everyone knew that the Jets weren’t going to be all that good this year (come on let’s be realistic here), but we at least thought that they’d be able to run the ball. Whoops, not so much. Rex may have gotten that new contract extension at the end of last season, but if he doesn’t remove his head from his ample backside, he might find it right back on the hot seat.

And in first place, by default, we find the Buffalo Bills…EJ reverted back to his wild ways, prompting many friendly Bills fans to declare that the EJ era needs to come to a close. Similar to the Jets loss, it’s not actually that the Bills lost to the Chargers, most rational people expected that, it’s just how they lost. This one was over by halftime and the previously undefeated Bills felt a lot more the Buffalo Bills than they have been to this point of the season. EJ was heard after the game asking the training staff if they could reattach the hoops to his receivers’ hands so he might have a shot of landing a ball within 5 yards of the intended target. Oh, if you are wondering where he was during the game, CJ Spiller was actually discovered taking a nap in the locker room in the second half. Trying to find a highlight on defense has not been easy either, maybe after Marcel is done picking up the folks from Arizona in the clown car he can speed on up to Buffalo and pile a few of these clowns in.

Well, hopefully this coming week brings some more positive news, because at this rate I think we should auction off the AFC East’s playoff spot to a team that deserves it.


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