Slicks’ AFCE Overreactions

Slicks’ AFCE Overreactions
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AFCE Week 1 Overreactions

Finally the regular season is here. The Patriots can put that offseason championship trophy up in the case and show us what all that work was worth. This year dawned with some great games in the AFC East so let’s get right to it.

Sitting alone in last place for the first time in quite some time we find the New England Patriots. The first thing that came to my mind after that game was, “Well that team looks like the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.” The pats were awful from the jump, going three and out then having their punt blocked. Then, the remade Pats defense that was sure to be the difference for them this year took the field. And the Fins promptly scored in four plays- well done defense. It’s Ok the Pats rebounded and went into the half with a 10 point lead- Oh yeah, Tom Brady couldn’t hit water from a boat. How many times does Josh McDaniels have to see Brady miss a receiver by ten yards when said receiver is running all alone five or ten yards behind the last line of defense before he removes his head from his rectum and stopped asking Brady to do it. Maybe we can have Jimmy g come in for plays when the Pats want to throw a deep ball? I’d say have Edelman throw the pass (he was a QB in college after all), but he’s the only receiver that the Pats have who stands a chance of getting open, so I don’t know…

Now let’s move past that depressing team and move on to the winners.

In third place, we have the New York Jets. Rex and Co. start the season as the worst of the winners only because of who they beat, the Raiders are the only team in the NFL that might be worse than the Patriots at this point (well, maybe the Giants). The defense did exactly what we all thought they would do to the young rookie in his first start, they made him look lost. The most surprising feature of the Jets’ performance had to be the offense though. Chris Johnson looked like he might be back to his 2008 form and Chris Ivory looks like he could be the perfect compliment. Then there was this; Geno Smith’s mastery of the offense. Who would’ve thunk that young Geno would have progressed so far in his second year? Yeah, yeah he turned the ball over, but I think he has progressed to the point that no turnover is his fault any longer; it was the fault of the receiver running the wrong route or the other team cheating and knocking the ball out of his hands. Watch out NFL, THE Jets are on the come and you’ve Super Bowl party invitations are in the mail.

Next we have the team that beat the second worst team in the NFL (well maybe the third), your Miami Dolphins. the Dolphins destroyed the Patriots from the opening gun and young Ryan Tannehill not only took the torch from Tom Brady as the division’s best quarterback, he took the torch and used it to burn down Tom’s house. Ryan The Great had no mercy on the Pats’ revamped secondary, slicing them up to the tune of a very efficient 178 yards and two TDs- he would have had about 500 yards and 5 TDs had he not kept hitting Mike Wallace in his blind spot- the hands. Additionally, Knowshon Moreno proved once again that the Patriots have no answer for him, bringing his rushing total over his last three games vs. the Pats up to somewhere around 6,000 yards. Now the defense, they took a few quarters to really get rolling- they had to wait for their starters to exit the game before really turning up the heat- but when they did, it sure got hot. The front four absolutely abused the Patriots’ new offensive line leaving Brady no time to think before he either threw the ball into the turf or took a sack and fumbled. If the Fins keep this up, there is no reason that the parade committee should stop construction of the new floats.

And last but most certainly not least, we have the Buffalo Bills. Hope springs eternal in the Nickel City as EJ and Co set out to prove that reports of their DOOM were very premature. The running game looked like something we haven’t seen since the great OJ Simpson was slicing up defenses on the shores of Lake Erie with everyone from CJ and Fred to EJ himself getting theirs. The passing game was nothing short of elite, with EJ Manuel turning out one of the best performances the Bills have seen since Drew Bledsoe was driving the herd. EJ was calm, cool, and efficient in his distribution of the ball. Top pick Sammy Watkins left a little to be desired, but Robert Woods continues to prove that he is on the doorstep of greatness. The Bills haven’t been in first place in quite some time, but they sure don’t look ready to give up the top spot so I think we can safely say that after watching one week of football, 2014 is definitely their year.


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