Week 17 is in the books and while we usher in a new year, we usher out and old era. Two teams in the playoffs again this year, not bad for a shitty division. Let’s get to the playoffs already…
Last place, the Jets. The Jets finished the season with a better record than many predicted (not me, but many), but they still blow and really have nothing coming in the future. They evidenced that much in this game against the Pats by continuing to allow Bryce Petty to get snaps. Everyone knows that Petty is never going to be a viable NFL QB, does that mean that Hackenberg is that bad? I guess so. (Although I heard that the book’s not closed on him..) The offense is really devoid of game changing players (Anderson is not that guy). The defense is OK, but nothing spectacular. They pick at #6 this year, who’s the most overrated QB coming out? There’s your guy.
Next to last place, the Dolphins. The fins also suck terribly. Many of their fans will blame the Tanny injury for the demise of the season. I don’t. Gase got his guy in the Naked Wonder, aka The Don’t Care Dolphin, aka Smokin’ Jay. When your coach lust after a QB with nicknames like that, you need to question his judgement. Then factor in the fact that Kenyon Drake entered the season as an afterthought, he should be fired. I fear that there are dark days ahead for the Fins. Oh well, Tanny will lead you to 8-8 next year and restore hope. Just wait for the offseason videos of him throwing bombs to DeVante Parker (but we all know Parker will actually be CGI’d in so he doesn’t get hurt). Fins pick at 11 next year. They’ll likely go WR because they’re dumb.
Now on to the winners and PLAYOFF Participants!
Good job Bills! (second place) You’ve finally ended the streak and ushered in that “New Era” you’ve promised the fans for the last few years. The Bills did what they needed to do in beating the Fins (who suck), but it wasn’t easy. They opened the game with a big lead, then Shady went down and things got dicey. Right about that time, the Ravens started to come back on the Bengals and I said to myself, “oh this would be so Bills.” The Fins then started driving, then something miraculous happened, Jarvis Landry “fumbled” and a Bills retuned it like 99 yards for a TD. Then the review…It was clear that it was not a fumble. Fins score to bring the game within one score on the next play. Ravens take the lead. Fins convert a successful onside kick. But the Bills were not going to succumb to their fate as easy as usual. They force Cutler to be Cutler and throw a pick. Bills win. Now all of the hopes and dreams rest on the right shoulder of Andy Dalton…Lucky for them, this is a meaningless game for the Bengals with CBS’s 5th string announcing team. 4th down and 12. “Oh well, definitely next year.”
“OH MY GOD!!!! THIS IT THE YEAR!!! THIS IS THE YEAR!!!! THIS IS THE YEAR!!!!”
See you next week in Jacksonville. Archer can go see a game in his hometown.
First place in the division, the conference and your hearts: The New England Patriots. The Pats beat the Jets and locked up homefield advantage for the 7th time in Brady’s career. Along with his 7th season with 13+ wins. The Pats are good, not great. But the field in the AFC (and possibly the entire NFL) does not look that strong so there’s a solid chance that the Pats will be playing in their 7th consecutive AFC Championship game (three 7’s? is that lucky?), where their opponent will likely include an offensive coordinator that just got in a bar fight next door to the stadium. Come on Bills, beat the Jags so we can have an AFC East playoff game.