Slick’s Overreactions: Week 5

Slick’s Overreactions: Week 5
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Well what do you know. Another surprisingly decent week for the AFC East. I mean yes, we did have one team with a dead QB, so they lost, but everyone else did their best and won their games. Let’s waste no time and get right after it.
Last place goes to the only loser of the week, the Fins. But it’s not really their fault, they were down to their third string QB. Wait, no. They were still playing the Jets and got their asses kicked. That’s not acceptable under any circumstances. I don’t care if your QB was Skylar Thompson, the Jets’ QB was Zack Wilson. This is just another example of a team that sees some early success against the dregs of the league, then getting all full of themselves. Well guess what coach Mike? Your team isn’t good enough to look past bad teams. The Fins had themselves a nice little lead in the division a few weeks ago. Now, they are staring at the underside of the New York Jets. How embarrassing.
Now that that ugliness is behind us, let’s talk about the winners.
Third place goes to the Jets. The Jets should be proud, they cashed their first real receipt. It was a $2 winner on a $20 ticket, but a win is a win and the Jets are now sitting as high in the AFC standings as we’ve seen them in nearly half a century. The young talent on the Jets is starting to shine, the offensive line is less offensive than normal and apparently, as long as they don’t throw the ball near the goal line, they can score points. Yes, their opponent was down to essentially asking for participants from the fans in the stands, but hey, normally the Jets are envious of that sort of talent. And looking ahead, the Jets have three overrated to terrible teams coming up next, they could really be in playoff position by mid-season.
Second place, the Pats. The Pats’ defense just shut out the #1 offense in the NFL. So they’re elite, right? But come on, we all know that’s not the story here. The real story is the Pats’ new QB Frank Zappe dropping Moon Units all over the field. The Pats are now undefeated in debuts of QBs drafted outside the first 5 rounds of the draft and Zappe looks to be just as good as that whiny millennial they drafted in the 1st round last year. Zappe commanded the offense, leading the offense on 5 long FG drives and even threw another TD pass. Looks like he’s the leading QB on the offensive ROY list. The Pats have another soft opponent this week, in the Browns. So as long as Nick Chubb doesn’t run for 690 yds (which is likely), they might be able to claw their way back to .500.
And that means first place goes to the Bills. This is more by default because the Bills are the best team in the division. Yes, they destroyed their opponent, but really Mac Jones beat the Steelers so it’s not all that impressive. Josh Allen threw for a lot of yards, but half of them came on two completions to Gabe Davis and he STILL turned the ball over, something that’s gonna have to stop if the Bills don’t want this great regular season to be a waste. Next up for the Bills is a real test in their nemesis, the Kansas City Chiefs. So, get ready for the Bills fans to say they’ve slayed their demons next week, only to know deep down that the Chiefs care more about the playoffs than the regular season.

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