A loss, a bye and a couple of wins. So all in all, not a bad week. He we go:
In last place, settled right back in their happy place, The New York Jets. In all fairness, the Jets really should have been on the winners’ side this week, they got incredibly screwed by the refs. I mean it’s almost like the refs are in on the tank job still, while the players are not. The Jets dominated the Pats for the entire first half, Josh McCown looked like he found the fountain of youth and the receivers were completely uncoverable. Now for the elephant in the room; the touchdown, no touchdown from ASJ. Here’s the way I saw it: Guy scores touchdown, I swear loudly, then go upstairs to check on the loud noises coming from the kids’ room. Come down to watch the kickoff and get completely confused…At first I just saw a play happening, so I thought that the Jets just got the ball on like the two where the “fumble” occurred. Then I realized that the Pats had the ball and was just thoroughly confused. Oh well, the sun shines on winners and the Jets just aren’t that.
And the team that couldn’t lose, the Bills. It’s actually been a while since the Bills didn’t lose on their bye week. Good to be rid of Old Rexy, huh?
In second place, the Pats. The Pats suck balls and really should have lost that game. And not because of some call that Jets fans are going to bitch about for centuries; well guess what clown shoes? The rule was applied properly, maybe you should peruse the rule book once in a while., jackass. The reason the Pats should have lost is that the defense blows on historic levels. I’m fairly confident that Tim Tebow could throw for 300+ on this team. And even better, I’m hearing that Gilmore is out with a concussion because someone punched him in the face in the locker room. So get ready for more of that thing called Bademosi (I don’t even care if I spelled it wrong, that clown doesn’t deserve my respect). Let’s talk about the offense. Brady seems to have joined the black nationalist movement and is avtively trying to get his white receivers – Gronk and Hogan – killed with high throws into traffic and Brandon Cooks forgot to show Belichick his circus hands with five thumbs each before the trade was consummated. The only real bright spot on the day was Dion Lewis looks very elusive. But you know Josh McDickballs won’t use him.
And first place, the Smokin’ Jays. The Fightin’ Cutlers will never give up, they go down 17 against the chokingest team in the history of choking and they keep on fighting. Even without the world’s most underachieving WR, DeVante Parker, the Jays were able to scrape and claw their way to a narrow victory. I know that Jarvis Landry finally showed up and played a football game this week (he really only got like one TD), I know this because I was forced to start him on one of my fantasy teams. But I digress, The Fins looked a bit like the team we were sold during the offseason when they finally signed a real winner at QB. In other news, Jay Ajayi was pretty OK this week too. That’s all I got really…