This is gonna be short, I’m terribly hung over…
Well the NFL played the 9th week of their schedule last weekend and once you waded through the garbage slate of games, you found that we had an inter-divisional pillow fight, what looked like another bad Monday night game (turned out to be quite the opposite) and a Pats bye week. Let get right to it:
The losers, and there were a lot of them-
In last place we find our old friends the New York Jets. If it wasn’t clear before Sunday’s game, it should be clear now; The Jets suck. Long story short, Fitz was Fitz. He threw some interceptions and was generally terrible at football. Then he got hurt. So at least there’s that…It’s funny to see Fat Revis playing about 25 yards off the ball in hopes that receivers won’t just blow by him (they still do). Also, it appeared that Sleepy Todd’s nap ran a little long and he forgot to add his best two defenders to the lineup and didn’t realize it until the end of the first quarter. He tried to play it off as a mini suspension after the game, but I don’t think anyone was fooled. I don’t know what else to say, I think Brandon Marshall summed it up best when he said, “Our season is over.”
In second to last place we find a surprise. The New England Patriots haven’t lost a week that they didn’t play a game in some time (since Mr. Hernandez killed all those people I think). But lose they did, when they shipped one of their best three defenders to NFL purgatory for essentially nothing.
And the final loser is the Buffalo Bills. At least Bills fans are used to having their butts fingered, because at least things were loosened up for what the refs did to them out in Seattle. The Bills played a very good game and really could’ve, should’ve won the game. At the very least they should have had the opportunity to attempt a game tying field goal, but alas, Sneaky Pete must have lined Old Walt Anderson’s pocket before the game and the Bills were not afforded that chance. I want to give Rex and his staff some real credit though, after Dick Sherman speared his kicker’s knee and knocked him out of the game for a play, you would’ve thought Rex would just go out there and have Tyrod or someone attempt the field goal; but showing brain power that I did not think he possessed, he had his team take a quick spike that allowed Carpenter to get back on the field for the attempt. All for naught though because the fix was in….
And our only “winner” of the week. The Miami Dolphins. Yes, it is hard to call them a winner for beating the Jets, but this isn’t the NCAA so the win does actually count. Tanny did just enough to not lose and the defense played just well enough to make Fitz look foolish (not hard to do with that stupid beard of his). I will say it was kind of rude that the Fin fans used up all of the nation’s lube supply, the Bills could have used some on Monday…All in all the Fins are looking like a less sucky version of themselves and might, just might find themselves in second place in the division when all is said and done.
There you have it,
The Cleveland Cavaliers are NBA Champs
The Chicago Cubs are World Series Champs
Donald Trump is the President Elect.
You can rest assured that the end of days is near.