The Pats are going to win the division again.
I know crazy, right? I mean they haven’t won an offseason championship since the Bills were a playoff team (OK, maybe not that long). I know all of the other teams in the AFC East have been loading up on mediocre talent in an effort to stop this decade long run of dominance, but guys who can only run in a straight line don’t often turn the future of a franchise all alone (nor do oft-injured, incredibly whiney DE’s)…
Now I did read today that Tom Brady is without his top 5 targets from last year, but what the people reporting this doom fail to recognize is that he’s Freaking Tom Brady and every day he rolls out of bed, he’s the best player the AFC East has seen since- well ever . Personally, I’ll take Tom Brady and three one legged midgets over the scrub QBs in this division paired with WR’s as good as Calvin Johnson any day.
“What about the Patriot’s putrid defense,” you say? Well, with a full offseason and regular season of Aqib Talib not only giving us audio gold, but also being a fairly decent corner back and Doug Marrone’s crowning achievement at Syracuse- Chandler Jones- wreaking havoc all over the field I think they’ll be much improved. And let’s not forget that this “terrible defense” has brought the Pats to the Super Bowl and the AFC Championship Game in 2011 and 2012 respectively.[dropcap][/dropcap]
So there you have it, we might as well cancel the season for the Jets, Bills and Dolphins. Yes I am a Pats fan. Yes, I can be considered a homer. But when the rest of the AFC East stinks like the great state of New Jersey on a hot summer’s day, all of the things I said are true.
Disclaimer: I don’t actually think Tanny is a scrub, but for the purposes of this post- he is one.
Disclaimer 2: My opinion is the only one that counts, so if you don’t like it- screw.
Disclaimer 3: If for some reason the Pats do not win the division (like Bill and Tom are horribly disfigured in a train crash) and this is not thrown in my face I will be severely disappointed in all of you.
By: Vinny (and no, that’s not my real name)