The Playoffs are coming, the Playoffs are coming! Those are the words being shouted through the streets in two AFC East cities (or regions). While the other two are bracing for a long, cold, dark winter. So with two divisional tilts happening on Christmas Eve, it was fitting that the two winners were the two heading to the playoffs. Let’s begin.
You guessed it, the Jets are in last place again. Things didn’t look good for the Jets when someone entered Sleepy Todd’s office on Friday and thought that his afternoon nap was actually a coma and had him whisked away to the hospital. After an evening of tests, the doctors concluded what we’ve all known from the start, it’s just a mild case of narcolepsy. The worst thing that came out of that situation was that the Jets’ players were sent to Providence on Friday afternoon with no supervision. Where they no doubt spent all of their time in many of the finer establishments the city has to offer; The Foxy Lady, the Fantasies and Desire (Mo seems more like a Satin Doll kind of guy if you ask me…). As you might expect, this led them to be supremely prepared for the game. The only guy who seemed to even want to be there was young Bryce Petty, but he was dumb and tried to tackle Malcolm Butler (after Khiry Robinson fumbled his first carry of the season) and injured his shoulder. Bring on Fitz. To his credit, Fitz’ last few games against the Pats have been downright good; not this time my friend. Fitz was as bad as Fitz is and if not for a cowardly field goal late in the 4th quarter (I’m assuming Todd had just woken up and thought it was the 1st quarter), the Jets would have suffered their worst shutout defeat ever. Mind you, this was the 2nd worst loss to the Pats in Jets history, even worse than the butt fumble debacle.
Moving on. The Bills played the Dolphins, with some minor playoff hopes on the line. Things were looking dicey all afternoon, but Tyrod kept the game close right up until one of my friends sent a group text to my fantasy league reading, “Now let’s all root for the Bills in honor of Ross.” (Ross is a good friend who was a Bills fan and recently lost his battle with cancer) Well the Bills let Ross down one last time as Rex played for the tie in a game that he absolutely needed to win, then rolled out 10 defenders on a critical play that ended up turning into a 50+ yd rush that resulted in the game losing field goal. So as we all predicted, Rex was fired (taking his fat brother with him). This will result in the 23rd Head Coach hired in the AFC East since the year 2000.
Now the winners.
The Miami Dolphins cemented their spot in the playoffs for the first time since 2008. Something that no one could have foreseen after the Fins opened the season at 1-4 with the only victory being a narrow escape when the Browns missed a game winning chip shot field goal. As many predicted there has been no discernable drop off since Matt Moore has become the starting quarterback. The Fins beat the Bills as most thought they would giving them their first double digit win season since that same 2008 year. This is a big week for the Fins. If they are able to beat the Patriots and the Chiefs somehow lose to the Chargers (who just lost to the Browns, so don’t hold your breath) they will move into the 5th seed, thus avoiding being the “Annual Tomato Can Opponent” for the Pats in the divisional round if they somehow win their opening playoff game. All in all, it’s been a successful season for the Fins, I don’t think anyone believes that they will actually win their first Super Bowl in the facemask era, but at least they are nothe Bills.
And now the Pats. The Patriots played a glorified game of 7 on 7 against the Jets for Christmas. This one was over really before it even started as the Jets are just checking off days until vacation. But it was nice to see the Pats thoroughly destroy a team that they should have thoroughly destroyed. There were some nice plays by the defense, Malcolm Butler with his two picks and a fumble recovery and even Eric Rowe who made a very fine play in his interception. The offense performed as you would have expected, moving the ball fairly easily all day. The best part of the game was probably when the Pats were content to run out the first half, but Sleepy Todd decided to call a timeout and piss off Belichick. 4 (or 5) plays later the Pats were in the endzone with a 27-0 lead. It was kind of frustrating to see the shutout go by the wayside, but these thigs happen. Giving up only 3 points isn’t all that bad and should secure the Pats as the #1 scoring defense in the league this season. Something that no one would have seen coming just a few weeks ago when they were trading their best athlete and getting shredded by the Seahawks. On to Miami with a chance to lock up home field advantage and have the road to the Super Bowl run through Foxboro. Go Pats!