The AFC East – Worst division? Not Quite
Well, this week I would like to thank the NFC East for existing, for without them the world would be focusing their attention on the AFC East as the worst division in football. If we really saw what these four teams are made of this weekend, then we are in trouble…
Let’s get right to it:
NEW YORK JETS
Nobody goes from first to worst like the New York Jets in the AFC East. I don’t know why I’m surprised that the Jets completely shat themselves and got blown out 49-9 by the Bengals (who needed overtime to dispatch of the Thad Lewis led Bills). I mean it is kind of par for the course- get hyped up for the game vs the Pats, play well (this time they even won), then crash back to earth like an Asiana Airlines flight out of San Francisco (too soon?). I mean come on, that was awful. The Jets’ top draft choice and many a Jet fan’s rationalization that trading Revis wasn’t going to be all that bad was, well all that bad. Many folks in Cincinnati thought Dee “Mumbly” Milliner was on his way to Sochi, Russia the way he was torched by the Red Rocket and company yesterday. I’d say that their second pick had a bad day as well, but I’m not sure he (or the rest of the D-line) actually suited up to play yesterday. Now Geno, what to say? He did throw two TD passes- unfortunately they were to Bengals defenders. Some of you laughed last week when I congratulated the Jets on drafting the second coming of Josh Freeman…I look downright clairvoyant today huh? The Jets have surprised thus far this season, but week 8 saw the Jets performing right at expectations.
For the second straight week the Miami Dolphins missed out on the bottom spot only because another team was so awful. That was a poor showing in the second half. Getting outscored 17-0 in the third quarter by a team that had been outscored 44-9 in their previous seven third quarters is nothing short of pathetic. The Fins looked likethey were so surprised to be up by two touchdowns going into halftime that they just packed it in and decided that they had done enough, so the second half was not necessary. The offensive line continued to be offensive, allowing six sacks in the second half and refusing to adjust for the cornerback that was inevitably going to blitz on every play. Ryan Turnoverhill continued to show us that erecting a 10,000 foot golden statue in his honor may have been premature (something Lauren could have told us he has a problem with…) and Mike Sherman continued to remind us that he is a graduate of Algonquin Regional HS in Northborough, MA- a program that was 0-4 against my alma mater during my four years and continues to be a laughing stock among MA HS football circles. All in all, it was a very un-Philbinlike performance and old Joe might need to make some changes if the Fins intend on not having “Orange Outs” for the rest of the season…To add insult to injury, Mike Pouncy was subpoenaed to appear before an MA Grand Jury to answer questions about his knowledge of his good buddy Aaron Hernandez’s trafficking of guns across state lines.
Now the Bills, I seriously considered ranking them #1 this week. Although, “Coffee is for closers,” so they land in the #2 spot again. I mean come on; did anyone really expect the Bills to be close in this one? I was reasonably impressed that they kept it close for as long as they did. It’s not as if any other team showed the Bills how to slow down Jimmy Graham. I hear the defense is doing “great things” though. I mean they held the Saints to 35 points, that’s at least 35 less than expected. One positive for the Bills though, Thad Lewis’ Duke Blue Devils are bowl eligible for the second straight year for the first time in school history (I believe this is true, if not it’s been like 75 years…) so that’s a win for him.
NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS
And in the immortal words of Homer Simpson: “The two best words in the English language- de fault!” That is how the Pats found their way back into the top spot this week. Tom Brady continued his spectacular 2013 campaign by throwing a horrible interception on his first attempt of the game. I want to be the first Pats fan to say it here in public: Brady is D-O-N-E, done (technically second because my wife has been saying it for three years- but that’s a bit of a stretch)! The Pats had better either draft their QB of the future in the first two rounds of the upcoming draft or tank next season in hopes that Jameis Winston decides to play in the NFL over the MLB in 2015. The first half was a disgrace and led many of the “Pink Hats” in Foxboro to head for the exits at halftime (so I’ve heard). Lucky for the Pats, they were playing the Dolphins, who looked nothing short of awful in the second half and I’ve not confirmed this but it looks like Tanny told his offensive line that they could not see the nude pics of Lauren he has on his team issued IPad and are punishing him for it. The two highlights of the game for the Pats had to be the “tip drill” interception that McCourty and Cole executed to perfection in the fourth quarter and the continued rise of Logan Ryan. Mr. Ryan took his first quarter suspension in stride and refrained from grasping his crotch in any offensive way as he continued his stellar play in Aqib Talib’s absence. Oh yeah, Josh McD needs to be fired today.
The Canes did their best to blow FSU’s shot at a national title, but for the second consecutive week needing to rely on a final minute TD to beat subpar competition. It’s going to take another 52-14-esque beat down by the ‘Noles if they want to jump the Ducks and get into the National Championship game in January. Because for some reason the Pac-12 gets respect when there are really only two good teams in the conference (UCLA sucks, USC should count as a D-III opponent, Washington is severely overrated and the Beavers are just plain terrible). And don’t get me started on the legacy votes that Alabama has been getting all year…Assuming all goes to plan FSU will have beaten two top ten teams (one in the top three) and have destroyed a ranked team 63-0 (MD was #25 at the time…), while the Ducks will have beaten Stanford (who comes into this week ranked #5) and UCLA who was ranked #12 going into this week. Yet somehow the Ducks are perceived to have a tougher SOS. NCAA playoffs are coming at least one year to late.