A couple of comebacks, an all around ass whipping and a view from the couch- now that’s an interesting weekend. Without further ado we’ll dive right into the sloppy mess that is our glorious AFC East division.
It took a full twelve weeks for us to get here, but your New York Jets are well entrenched in the basement. They’ve got some Tasty Cakes, a couple of two liters of Jolt and are all set to spend the winter playing MMORPG’s and yelling at strangers with RANDOM CAPS on message boards. Geno looks as if he could be benched and Mumbly has proven that he sucks. Oh, on plus side, Ed Reed had a nice assist on a Raven’s pass touchdown yesterday so at least one signing has worked out well for the Boys in Green. I don’t know about you, but if I played defense for the Jets I would subject the offense to some Ritchie Incognito style hazing until they either cry and quit (I’m looking at you Geno) or get tough.
Next up we have your paper champions- the Miami Dolphins. I was really pulling for the Fins yesterday and thought they might have what it takes to knock off an overrated team that is starting to get awfully full of themselves. I mean Magic Mike Wallace actually ran in a straight line and caught the ball resulting in a touchdown and the Fins were looking just plain OK through two and a half quarters. Then someone (I blame Jordan) sent a note down to the sidelines and reminded the Teal Tornados that they were in fact the Miami Dolphins and well, they played like the Miami Dolphins. I’m really starting to think that Joe Philbin is really not a Philbin enough type guy to succeed down by Biscayne Bay. Maybe he’s actually not out giving candy to children and he can’t handle having all these scantily clad boobies jiggling around him and he’s getting distracted?
It was a big week for the Bills. I mean any week that you know you can’t get a loss must be a nice feeling for their fans. I would even go so far as to say they got themselves a win, what with the Jets and Fins crumbling it looks like the Bills are in the driver’s seat to earn themselves the #2 spot in the division and get to watch the playoffs from the front row instead of that creepy dungeon with an 8” black and white TV like usual. In other good news, the one and only Jon Bon Jovi released news that he’s interested in buying the Bills (if of course anyone can pry the deed out of Ralphie’s cold, dead hands). This gives the Bills a good shot at finally bringing in a decent head coach, because of Jov’s great friendship with the original Jersey rocker- Bill Belichick. Even if Bill does not decide to join his BFF on the beautiful shores of Lake Erie, I’m sure Bill will do his buddy a solid and allow the Bills to win once every five years or so.
Now, what you’ve all been waiting for…
The Pats are done, they are a fraud team that will not get out of the wild card round of the playoffs (and wouldn’t even get that far if any of the other teams in this division were remotely close to competent). I gave away my tickets and I’m sure glad I did.
Wow! Once it got to 24-0 I was good and ready to go to bed, but conceded to watch the first drive of the second half, then the second, then the third, then I knew I was staying up late. What a performance- the greatest comeback in Patriots history. That is the type of win that galvanizes a team and leads to championships. Mark it down: the Pats will once again get a first round bye (#2 seed) and host the AFC Championship (Peyton is not going to win a playoff game outside, in sub freezing temps), now all that they need to do is beat the Tennessee Titans of some other 7 win team (well, they will have 9 by the time they play in the AFCCG) for a ticket to Met Life Stadium and a chance for Brady to cement his legacy as the best QB of this era. Also, it sure was nice to see Wes Welker blow some other team’s shot at a big win…
Bonus section: The ‘Noles hung 80 on the potato farmers from Idaho on Saturday- while beating Idaho is not all that impressive, any time you score 80 points that is impressive. Now all we need to do is take up a collection so that Archer can go and put a hit out on these pesky lawmen that are trying to rattle Jameis and the crystal football is theirs for the taking.