The Sideline Report Dynasty League


The Sideline Report Dynasty League
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I am loathe to write this article simply due to the fact that my team performed horribly in Week 1 and my opponent exceeded expectations by a considerable amount, but I suppose I have to set aside my personal feelings.

Current standings:

  1. Luciano – ThumbCrushers 1-0-0
  2. Finfan – Suh Happy 1-0-0
  3. Hooded – Pimpin’ Ain’t Easley 1-0-0
  4. Vinny – Tuck a Buck Express 1-0-0
  5. Iyced – It’s Deztiny 1-0-0
  6. Nossorc – YAC CIty (Expletive Deleted) 0-1-0
  7. Archer – Manning Face 0-1-0
  8. CJ/EJ/Me – CJ&CJ Atty’s at Ball 0-1-0
  9. Nik – Down with ODB 0-1-0
  10. Link – Home Run Darby 0-1-0


Game by Game Recap:

CJ vs Luciano

In what was supposed to be the most evenly matched game according to Yahoo’s projections, Luciano’s entire team went bazonkers and scored a league high 182.74 points, a high water mark I expect to last for quite a while this year. Meanwhile, yours truly’s team pooped the proverbial bed, with only Julio Jones turning in a respectable (make that outstanding) performance. Final score, 182.74 to 118.14

Hooded vs Archer

Archer had no glaring holes amongst his starters that could have been filled by bench performances, his team was just all around mediocre. Meanwhile, .Hooded played a nearly perfect game, as his only roster mistake was playing Doug Martin over Carlos Hyde. In the end, it didn’t even matter as Hooded wrapped up a resounding Week 1 victory after a sub-par draft. Final score, 156.96 to 122.32

Nik vs Iyced

In a game featuring the two teams with the top drafts this offseason, one might expect a clash of the titans. Instead, Iyced’s underperforming team was barely able to hold off the injury-demolished roster Nik put on the digital field. A couple huge bench misses by Iyced prevented a blowout and instead gave us our closest game of the week. Final score, 125.72 to 114.10

Finfan vs Nossorc

If I told you a team with Peyton Manning and Adrian Peterson combining for 14.10 points won, would you believe me? Finfan’s other players went off, with Jordan Matthews, Keenan Allen, and Jamaal Charles racking up big points. Nossorc didn’t leave much on the bench, it just wasn’t enough to overcome a strong performance from Finfan. Final score, 158.10 to 136.52

Vinny vs Link

With Yahoo’s “technical difficulties” (a.k.a. cheating Patriots fans’ schemes), Link ended up leaving a lot of points on the bench, but it wouldn’t have saved him from a thorough beatdown at the hands of Vinny. No one could have predicted Mariota’s coming out party or Darren Sproles out scoring LeSean McCoy in Week 1, so we’ll cut Link a little slack. Final score, 152.36 to 110.34


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