Slick’s 2020 Week 5 Overreactions

Slick’s 2020 Week 5 Overreactions
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Ha, what a week…Technically it’s not even over as I begin writing this…So things could change on the fly.  Well, we saw some serious surprises this week, from a surprise “bye”, to a surprise win.  Let’s waste no time in getting to it.  


Well, there’s no surprise here, the Jets are in last.  I did think briefly about putting the disease-ridden Pats below them, but no, the Jets are a worse plague on this world than even Covid-19.  The Jets welcomed the upstart Cardinals (or as I sometimes like to call them, the “Desert Jets”) to New Jersey and promptly got Kyler Murray’s MVP campaign back on track.  Obviously, the Adam Gase led offense sucked terribly, especially with the Zombie Corpse of Joe Flacco at the helm.  Joe begrudgingly started in lieu of young STD- who bagged out of the game in order to protect his future prospects of not becoming a vegetable by the age of 29- it didn’t go well.  On the plus side, Joe managed to not throw any interceptions, something Sam has never really been able to master.  The defense was equally terrible, but they did manage to force a turnover, so that’s nice.  All in all the jets are a waste of time, so let’s move on.  


And the bonus of not being able to file this article until late Tuesday, I get the laugh out loud at the Jets releasing Le’veon Bell.  What a freaking joke this franchise is, no, don’t blame the idiot coach who can’t make use of any talented (albeit petulant) players.  Adam Gase hated the Bell signing from the word go.  Now he got his way and can complete a historic 0-16 season before being fired and forgotten.   


In second to last place, the Bills.  The Bills opened their wacky Tuesday night affair very sloppily.  Josh Allen threw a bad pass and a smart defender took advantage and picked him off, leading to an early Mt. Tannemore touchdown pass.  The Bills then managed a decent drive to respond, but even then had to overcome repeated shots to their own feet.  Things just went downhill from there.  The Titans continued to confuse the already dim Josh Allen, fooling him into taking sacks, getting hit, throwing interceptions and I think at one point I saw Josh buying a bag of magic beans on the sideline from someone in Titans gear.  Alas, no magic beanstalk grew up which Bills fans could escape this nightmare of penalties that was unfolding in front of them.  Instead they were forced to endure watching their once promising team wilt in front of them and the rest of the football watching nation.  One can only hope that the Bills were REALLY looking ahead to next week’s big game against the Chiefs, because boy oh boy, it was plain ugly.  I mean the Bills had two and a half week to prepare for a team that was only released from quarantine yesterday and they got their asses kicked in just about every way possible.  (Fun fact, I was literally typing the words “at least they haven’t fumbled yet” and that happened…)  OK, nothing is going to change here…Boy starting 4-0, then losing 2 straight could be devastating…If the Jets wise up and fire Gase next week, the Bills could enter November 4-4…     


The Pats got a “bye” because they are a covid hotspot.  Moving along. 


So get out the lube Fin fans, your favorite team is #1!!!!  The Miami Dolphins are a force to be reckoned with.  Fitz must have broken protocol and sneaked to London to refill his potion making kit or something, because the magic is back baby.  The Fins traveled west to meet the defending NFC Champion 49ers and proceeded to kick their hosts in the teeth like they were 9ers fans at a Raiders game.  I mean the Fins went out there and humiliated the 9ers so completely that the Golden Boy, Jimmy G was benched and is now being talked about as washed up.  Everything seemed to come up positive for the Fins, from Fitz dropping repeated dimes, to aforementioned grown man who goes by “Jimmy” twice attempting to lead his team on a 2 minute drill in the first half and throwing two god awful interceptions.  The Fins can be a problem for the two “contenders” in the division if they just do what I’ve been saying all year and stick with Fitz… 


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