Older AFCE

Slick’s Week 2 Overreactions: A Star is Born

Slick’s Week 2 Overreactions: A Star is Born
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Well we’re two weeks into the 2016 NFL season and well, things haven’t really changed. It was a week of interdivisional play and we are where we always seem to be. One team is the cream of the division, two teams are average at best and one is a complete dumpster fire.
Let’s start at the bottom, the Buffalo Bills. The Bills have a fancy new stadium name and they just put up a new sign for the fans to adore. It can be seen here. So the Bills entered the week in their newly renamed stadium with a nationally televised game against their arch rival the New York Jets. And to the surprise of many they performed just like the Buffalo Bills; allowing Ryan Fitzpatrick to torch them repeatedly. It was a really laughable game and of course after the offense performed admirably and the Ryan Brothers’ defense allowed 37 points to an average offense they did what any team would do- they canned their offensive coordinator. Although some reports that surfaced in the days following were that Kim Pegula wanted Roman to give her a motor boat after the game and he refused so she fired him on the spot.
Now that we’ve got that ugliness behind us, let’s talk about the fish smell emanating from the dumpster, the Miami Dolphins. The Fins opened up their Sunday matchup against the Pats by achieving exactly one field goal in the first half. Ryan Tannehill looked completely inept through two quarters and the game was essentially over by the midway point of the 2nd quarter. Lucky for them, Jimmy G decided that he wanted to start work on the Texans game early and left the rest of the game for a rookie QB to finish up for him. The second half looked a little better, once Pat’s defensive coordinator Matt Patricia started planning his dinner. They finished by bringing the game within a touchdown, but of course the $100MM man Ryan Tannehill threw a “Fitzmagical” interception in the endzone squashing the hopes and dreams of the delusional Miami fanbase.
On to the winners. The Jets are in luck, with the Bills being such a disaster, they might be able to get to eight wins this season. At 1-1, they are in perfect position to finish 8-8 with Fitz throwing 4 picks in the final game that could clinch a wildcard spot in the mediocre AFC. To the game. The Jets won by default, they did everything in their power to lose, but they just couldn’t overcome the Bills’ suckiness. Revis is fat, he’s clearly just cashing checks at this point, as evidenced by him getting absolutely torched by a guy that envies Mike Wallace’s route tree. They even allowed the Bills’ crappy defense to score a touchdown…Yet Jet fans are optimistic about the team, yes it is kind of sad.
And now the only actual good team in the division. Jimmy Garoppolo proved that he is legit. Here’s some stats that will make all of the non-Pats fans sick: Jimmy faced 19 blitzes on Sunday, he was 14 of 19 for 197 yards and 2 touchdowns. Then there’s his numbers on third downs this season, 14-17 with 2 TDs (#1 third down QB in the NFL thus far this season). And now there are reports that he could actually play on Thursday, just four days after spraining his AC joint- the legend continues to grow. Now let’s talk about everything that happened after Jimmy disemboweled the Fins…The Pied Piper handed off a lot once he entered the game, although when he did throw the ball, he was efficient and posted a stat line that would have given fans of any other team in this division an erection that would have required a trip to the ER (6-9, 97 yards, 0 ints). Those handoffs were mostly to “Leaping” Legarratte Blount who literally ran around, through and over the Fins defense all day. But things are not all sunny in Foxboro, I’ve never really been a fan of Matt Patricia and once again he proved me right on Sunday. There’s nothing like stubbornly sticking to the 3 or 4 man rush and playing off man in the secondary when you’re getting zero pressure and your secondary is getting torched repeatedly. Justin Coleman reaffirmed my belief that he sucks and belongs on the Browns, and McCourty was back to his “one step late” ways. I’m lucky that I watched the game at a friends’ house, because had I been in front of my own TV, I would have put a bottle through it.
That’s all I’ve got this week.

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