Week 4 Overreactions
Our Government has shut down, so I feel like it’s my civic duty to provide hope to the masses that with a little hard work (and spell check) you too could have a story published on the internet, where it will be read by tens of people. So to those who were furloughed or have stopped receiving their GI Bill checks- chin up, one day this could be you.
So, to football. It was another whacky couple of days in the division- we saw our Super Bowl favorites float belly up like some vandal put a cork in their blowholes and our toilet bowl favorites beat the Super Bowl champs. Just plain weird….
So without further ado we start at the bottom and work our way northwards. A quick glance at the box score might have you thinking the little brother from the Jersey swamps won the game. The Jets did post the leading Passer, Rusher and Receiver in the game and that’s why stats don’t always tell the whole story. The Jets got more or less (or even more) smoked by the Titans on Sunday. On the plus side, Geno looked like he was tearing up nicely- a little more practice and he might just be able to cry and inspire his team just like another rookie QB in the state that his team is named for. The game was not without highlights of course- Geno looks as if he’s been taking all of the coaching from Sanchez and looks as if he might just be ready to give up his starting job to Chris Simms (or anyone else that has hands and feet). That was a gloriously idiotic fumble, but I don’t care what the fools at E!SPN or the Post say- it doesn’t even come close to matching the glory of the butt-fumble.
Now we move on to the team that looked only the slightest bit better than the Jets- the Porpoises. I needed 16 points from Hartline and the mighty Fins defense to win a fantasy match-up this week. Hartline gave me 3.40 and the defense gave me -3 for a net total of .40 points! F the Dolphins and everything they are worth. On the plus side Jimmy Graham only caught four passes, unfortunately they amounted for 100 yards and two TDs. Tannehill sure looked like a guy in his second year- I was going to go back to calling him “One More Int Tannehill” until I realized that he threw two more int’s than TD’s last night.
There are really only three words needed to describe the Fins last night- SUCK, SUCK and SUCK.
This team is just another mirage that will look good for a month or so, then suck for the rest of the season and be ripe for a Jeffry Loria style South Florida firesale this offseason.
Now we come to the middle of the pack. The New England Patriots. Sure they won and looked dominant for about 55 minutes, but the truth of the matter is that they looked like crap in the last 5 minutes and that is really the true reflection of that team. Zach Sudfield looks like he is afraid of the football and I don’t know who this Tom Brady character is, but would it kill Belichick to find a QB that can take a snap?
On the positive side of things, it does look as though Aqib Talib is the best corner to play in New England since a guy named Law (ironic because since coming to NE Talib has not broken the law once…). Also, Legarrett Blount looks similar to a freight train once he gets to full speed and defenders look at him like they would rather not end up like the kid in “Stand By Me”…
In conclusion, the Pats may be 4-0, but that house of cards looks like it is just one good gust away from toppling.
Last but certainly not least we have the Buffalo Bills, who by AFCE News standards just won the Super Bowl (and beat the Patriots). Hear me out- the Ravens beat the Patriots and won the Super Bowl. The Bills beat the Ravens. Therefore the Bills are your new Super Bowl champs! Drink it up Buffalo fans, you have waited a long time for this.
Now to the game itself. The Bills defense obviously just proved that they are the greatest defense ever- I mean did the ’85 Bears ever get 5 interceptions off of the reigning Super Bowl MVP without their two best defensive backs? I don’t think so. Robert Woods proved once again that he can catch balls when no one is covering him and the dynamic duo of CJ and FredEX make this offense one to be feared. This looks like a team on the come, so if you would just form a line over there we will have your boarding passes for the band wagon ready in just a minute.