Who saw this coming? We have one 3-1 team, but not who you’d expect, two 2-2 teams, certainly not who you’d expect and a 1-2 team, that’s not too surprising. So, let’s go and get it.
Last place was a tough choice this week, had I written this on Sunday evening things may have been different. But getting shut out by the New Orleans Saints on your home pitch is tough to overlook. The Dolphins traveled to Jay Ajayi’s home town of London England and were thoroughly embarrassed to the tune of a 0-20 score. This is a very disgraceful team, from the QB guru head coach, to the butt smoking QB and the linebackers that are fleeing the team in droves. The best thing we can say about this game is that it was over early in the day. The first half was a barn burner, with the teams exchanging field goals. Then the Fins went into the locker room for some traditional fish n chips and were too fat and sleepy to make it out for the second half. The best part was probably the aforementioned British RB having a fit on the sideline because he wasn’t getting the ball enough in front of his family. And Fin fans thought I was crazy for predicting that this team would come crashing back to earth. My god, not even if Ryan the Great came riding in on the backs of a pod of bottle nose dolphins could this team be saved. At least the front office will get another crack at whiffing on a top 10 offensive lineman.
Now the team that I would have put last had I written this a day or two ago, the New England Patriots. Boy this defense sucks. And like with the Fins, it starts at the top. The HC is the GM, and he picked some good players this offseason, unfortunately they were all players in positions that they already had good players. He completely neglected the teams’ greatest weakness, the front seven and threw a high priced, lazy, dumbass into the secondary that completely threw off their chemistry. This defense looks like something that you’d see in the Big 12, opposing WRs just running free through the secondary. They make shitty QBs look like Hall of Famers and can’t stop a runny nose. On the plus side, they are now only ranked second to last in points allowed, but of course they are still on pace to be the worst defense in the history of time. Normally you can say, of well the Pats will find a way to figure this out and right the ship. But I don’t see it this year, there is just a complete void of talent in the defensive front seven and Stephon Gilmore appears to be required to wear his helmet when he’s not on the field. Hey, at least we don’t have to wait long until they give up another 75 points on Thursday night.
On to the winners.
In second place, the New York Jets (yes Patriots, you are looking up at the Jets in the standings, a team that was almost unanimously considered to be the worst NFL team assembled in recent memory). The Jets escaped a tie vs the Jags by the slimmest of margins. I mean had Bortles just scrambled for five yards on their last play from scrimmage, the Jets would likely have needed to move the ball about 15 yards and lineup for a FG attempt all in about 45 seconds. But that’s not what happened so the Jets didn’t have to do much in their final drive and won the game. The got a decent performance out of the run game. Bilal Powell had a monster of a game, this poor guy has really gotten the shaft in his career. He’s good, but the Jets’ genius brain trust has insisted on trying to replace him. Then there was this other guy, Elijah McGuire put up a decent stat line and has been deemed “elite” by some Jets fans. Not so fast, take out his one 69 yard TD run and he had 9 rushes for 24 yards.
And once again, the Buffalo Bills are in first place. I’m starting to believe that it might be time to take this Bills team seriously. They may have finally gotten the suckiness exorcised from the franchise. They purged the roster right before the season and everyone thought that the Front office as taking a run at the Jets for 0-16, now they are all alone in first place, having beaten some good teams. Now, now, I know what you’re going to say. “We’ve seen this movie before.” And you would be right, but there is a void in the AFC East right now, the Fins are awful, the Jets are still one of the worst teams in the league and the Pats have one of the worst defenses ever devised by man. Add it all up and the Bills look like they may be heading to the playoffs for the first time this millennium. I mean if Sammy Watkins were still on the team, they would definitely be undefeated. So, what’s left to say, the offense is not going to set the world on fire, but as long as they don’t fuck it up, the defense is going to win them a lot of games. Most years I’d say to come and talk to me around week 8, but with all of the other things going on the division, Bills fans should pre-pay for their playoff tickets now. (I will be accepting cash and checks starting on Thursday)
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