Well, well, well…What a week we had…There was a lot of bluster coming from all four AFC East towns (well three really, the folks in New England don’t get too worked up about week 1) an even a divisional matchup to settle the score. So now that you know that we didn’t go 4-0 again, let’s start with the biggest losers of the week (and possibly of all time).
In last place and setting up some nice, comfy sofas and installing those phones with the giant buttons, we find the Miami Dolphins. What kind of next level suck bag team do you have to be to lose to the Jags. I mean really, what a bunch crap all of this offseason hype was huh? Suh is already doing his own thing, ignoring play calls and giving the DC lip. I mean who among us could have seen this coming? You know except everyone that isn’t blinded by being a Dolphins fan. (note: You’d have to think most Fin fans would have to be blind to put up with this crappy team for more than a minute) So the big, bad defense that went out and spent record money on a guy to stop the run has now given up 161 and 123 yards in their first two games to arguably the worst two teams in the league. They were lucky to escape with a win in week 1, but it appears that the Jags were just too good for them to overcome. OK, let’s talk about the rest of the game, LM3K won’t be making anyone do a river jump this season, he sucks. Tannehill is OK, but when you’ve got an anchor like this team weighing you down, you’ve got to be great if you want to be competitive. The only bright spot on this suck-bag team is Jarvis Landry, you can bet that he’s got a calendar in his bedroom counting down the days until he’s a free agent and can go play for a good team like the Pats.
In second to last place we find the loudest bunch of losers you will ever see, the Buffalo Bills. The Bills and their fans spent the entire week telling anyone who would listen (and a lot of people who wouldn’t) that they have arrived and the Pats had better watch out. The Bills treated this game like it was the Super Bowl again, and once again they played like it was the Super Bowl. They came out like a ball of fire and scored and easy TD on their first drive, then forced the pats to go 3 and out. All was happy in Buffalo; then the Pats decided that they would like to play. The next thing the Bills knew, they were down 21-7 and things were getting out of control. The so called “best Defense in the NFL” was fairly useless in their feeble attempts to slow the Pats offense down and all those guys that talked about how good they were and how Dion Lewis doesn’t even deserve their attention were quickly shut up as Mr. Lewis and company ran roughshod all over them. It looks like the Bills are still l the Bills, just a little louder. And if Tyrod Taylor doesn’t learn how to read the field pretty quick, we’re going to get EJ time. The good news for the Bills and their fans (apart from knowing that they won’t have to face the Pats again until November) is that they can look at the box score and pretend that all those stats they piled up weren’t garbage time. This game was never in question, the Pats dominated, but the Bills and their fans should be used to that. The biggest fear for the Bills and their fans moving forward is that the Pats laid out the blueprint for beating them, like they did to the Time Lord.
Now for the winners of the week:
In second place, we find the New York Jets. I said sometime this summer that the jets were likely to surprise some folks this season and win somewhere around 8 games. Most said I was dumb and know nothing about football. Well who’s the dummy now? The Jets entered the season with a solid defense, a few nice toys on offense and a glass jawed QB. Well the QB situation was handled in the locker room and new head coach Todd Bowles has purged most of the “Rex Effect” from the locker room. The team is just working hard and doing their best to prove all of you detractors wrong. As for the game, the Jets made the Colts look silly. I know the Colts suck, but still they were predicted by almost every “League Expert” to make the Super Bowl, so this is a good win for the Jets. Revis really looks like he’s declining fast as pats nation predicted…And that front seven is beastly. The blitz happy Jets forced 5 turnovers and although they tried their best to “Jet up” that game and lose, they held on in the end.
And now the defending champions and eventual champions of the AFC East for the seventh consecutive season; the New England Patriots! So it was “rivalry week” for the Pats’ opponent this week, not so much for the Pats though (the opponent has to be your equal on some level for it to be a real rivalry), this was just another week against a team that hasn’t beat them at full strength) in nearly a half decade. The Pats took a hard punch from the Bills in the first quarter, then went and systematically dismantled the previously feared defense of the Bills. The Bills aren’t a match for the Pats, but we did get to see how this new team reacts to a little bit of adversity, so that was nice. Gronk once again proved that he is unstoppable, no amount of pregame talk can slow him down and Dion Lewis proved that he (not Shady McCoy) is the second coming of Barry Sanders. Rex ought to learn his name, because he’s going to see it a lot come November. All in all the pats probably should have won this game 60-14, but they played almost the entire second half like A-holes, trying to run up the score by getting specific players TDs, this backfired a bit and made the final score close, but I can assure you this; no one in New England thought the Pats even had a chance to lose (and that includes the Bills fans that were at my house unknowingly drinking “Free TB12” beers). Brady did something that has never been done before (again) by throwing the ball over 55 passes, completing more than 60% of those throws for four TDs and no picks (that’s some defense you’ve got there Bills fans). So ho hum, have the payoffs started yet?