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AFCE Slick Weekly

AFCE Slick Weekly
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Wild Card Weekend Overreactions

 

Well this is going to be quick. No AFC East teams played over the weekend because Dougie Fresh orchestrated that Bills loss to Oakland so that he could ensure that he would be able to opt out, the Fins suck, the Jets are the Jets and the Pats feel like playing on Wild Card Weekend is beneath them. We did however have four games that were important and sometimes shady so here we go.

Cards at Panthers (27-16 Panthers)

The Panthers drew the long straw this weekend and won the opportunity to play against the Cardinals with their backup running back and high school quality QB. I was actually down in New Jersey at the final family holiday party of the season when the Panthers took a 10-0 lead, so I turned to my cousin’s husband and said, “Well that should just about do it.” But I was mistaken, Mr. Lindley threw the first TD pass of his career and the Cards were able to muster another TD on a 1 yd run bringing their point total to about 5 more than I thought possible. The Cards actually had a chance in the 4th quarter until the aforementioned Mr. Lindley got his hands on the ball and promptly threw a pass directly to Luke Kuechly. Game over. I feel bad for the Cards, they are a good team and even making it to the playoffs with the string of QB injuries is to be commended.

Ravens at Steelers (30-17, Ravens)

Now this was the game that most everyone here at this site was most interested in. First, it had the potential to provide the Pats with their opponent for this coming weekend; and second it was between two teams from the other division that this site represents. Unfortunately for the fans of the Steelers and those of us that were looking forward to the annual “Dan Shaunessey Memorial Tomato Can Game” when the likes of Indy or Cincy would come into Foxboro and lose by 40+, the Steelers didn’t show up. I think that they knew deep down that they didn’t have a chance without their leading offensive weapon LeVeon Bell. The final score showed only 13 points separating the two teams, but the Ravens should have won by 35. Now the Ravens get to travel to Foxboro and I don’t like that. They are the only visiting team to win multiple playoff games in Gillette Stadium (to be fair, only one other team has even won one) and they just play the Pats very well.

Bengals at Colts (26-10 Colts)

Here’s another game that looks closer than it actually was. The Bengals never had a chance, really this game was over as soon as the league was informed that Marvin Lewis would still coach and The Red Rocket would start at QB. I mean the Bengals really do suck; a new rule change was floated around on the Boston Radio airwaves yesterday that would bar the Bengals from playoff contention until they fire those two and I for one am all for it. Now for the Colts, with their big win they get the opportunity to go and face Peyton Manning’s hollow shell of a body and the Denver Broncos. Wouldn’t it be fitting for Luck to take the crown as the best Colts QB of the decade from Peyton in a state where his owner can smoke as much weed as he wants without legal repercussions? I’m going to go out on a limb here and predict that the Colts win and on Monday morning there will be a marijuana shortage in the greater Denver area while a search party is sent into the mountains looking for Irsay’s giant red face after he wanders off.

Lions at Cowboys (24-20 Cowboys)

Well this certainly was the game that had everyone talking yesterday. The Cowboys won thanks in large part to a non-penalty that can only be described as shady. Let’s take a walk through this situation for a minute. NFL VP of officiating Dean Blandino spent some time partying with the Jones family this summer on a party bus (hosted by Jerruh’s semi-special offspring and FOX’s Jay Glazer), no conflict of interest there. Then there’s the fact that a Lions/ Seahawks game on Saturday coupled with a Panthers/ Packers game on Sunday doesn’t quite move the ratings needle for FOX like a Cowboys/ Packers Sunday afternoon game would. Oh yeah and the fact that Jerry Jones is just a shady individual and will do anything and I mean anything to ensure that his Cowboys regain their title as “America’s Team.” I hate to say it, because I love the NFL so much, but I have to conclude that the fix was in. Just another black mark on The Rog-Father’s stellar year; can we burn this guy at the stake already?

 

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