Older AFCE

AFCE Slick’s Week 13 Overreactions

Older AFCE

AFCE Slick’s Week 13 Overreactions
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A Day Late and a dollar short…

 
 
I walked into the friendly confines of Gillette Stadium at about 4:15 on Sunday afternoon with my heart full of glee, I thought that maybe, just maybe for the first time since week 1 I would be writing an all positive column…
 
Then the Pats took the field to play the Eagles and we experienced one of the greatest falls from grace that we’ve seen in recent NFL history…In last place, we find the New England Patriots. What a bag of crap that team rolled out on the field on Sunday. Bill Belichick proved once again that he’s 100% full of shit when he says that they ignore the media in Foxboro. The truth is, they only ignore the media when they are saying mean things about Bill and his band of cheaters, but if the media is writing nice things, like saying that the opponent has no chance, Bill and friends will lap it up and take the message to heart. They obviously took the week off from their maniacal preparations and instead decided to completely disrespect their opponent and their fans by treating this game like a scrimmage that meant absolutely nothing. Well guess what Bill, this game may well have cost you a first round bye and almost certainly cost you home field advantage in the playoffs. Have fun one Super Bowl Sunday, maybe we can meet up on Nantucket and watch the game together.
(I would also like to address the contingent of Pats homers who got upset at the fans for booing the team and coaches first half performance, you guys are an embarrassment. Please stop identifying yourselves as Pats fans.)
 
OK, let’s get to some happy thoughts…With the Patriots’ stunning decent into suckitude, there is a power void here in the division, who has what it takes to grab power? Let’s find out…
 
Well we can rest assured that it won’t be the Miami Dolphins. That crap bag team did in fact win a football game this weekend, but it was a narrow escape and they were playing one of the more terrible teams in recent memory…Ryan Tannehill threw for a thoroughly embarrassing 86 yards and completed less than 50% of his passes, once again proving that he was worth that extension…Hey at least Lamar Miller rushed for over 100 yards! And Big Sue even registered two tackles, so I guess things aren’t all bad in South Florida. You know, if you ignore the fact that the “Head Coach” would be a better fit as one of those guys that dress up in the suit to train police dogs or the offensive coordinator who’s testicles just dropped…Good times Dolphins, good times.
 
So I guess in a tie for second place we’ll insert the Bills. Rex and company were fairly unimpressive, they did however score 30 points, so there’s that…Tyrod Taylor once again completed less than 50% of his attempts and barely crossed the 200 yard plateau, but he did get lucky and three of those completions (27% of them) went for touchdowns. It’s nice to play against the secondary from St. Mary School for the Deaf and Blind. Tyrod also had a nifty TD run…The defense was lackluster, allowing Bryan “The Destroyer” Hoyer to throw for nearly 300 yards and three TDs. The Bills were able to slow down JJ Watt (although a case could be made that his wallet is doing a solid job of that…) so there’s that. Oh yeah, Rex showed that when his opponent presents him with just one weapon that needs to be shut down, he can shut that weapon down. (although when Sammy Watkins get 88 yards and a TD we hear about the great game he had, so I’m not sure what to do here…) Yup, the Bills could possibly grab hold of the power in the division, if Rex puts down the chicken wings…
 
That leaves the Jets tied with the Bills for second place. The Jets played “the best” team in the NFC East this weekend as the visiting team in the own stadium. This clash of titans was everything you would have hoped for. The vaunted Jets secondary, minus Revis, was absolutely torched by ODB and that was about it for the Giants on offense. On offense the Jets were certainly interesting. Ryan Fitzpatrick once again forgot what month it was and channeled his inner Tom Brady, throwing the ball 50 times (36 completions, that’s like four weeks for Tanny and Tyrod combined…) for nearly 400 yards and three touchdowns. Brandon Marshall proved once again that as long as the team is average and he’s seeing the ball, he will be awesome. Eric Decker has even justified his hot wife with some sustained above average play. But Devin Smith still sucks, I’m not sure if he even played because he doesn’t show up in the box score…The Jets currently hold the final wild card spot in the AFC, if they can keep up this level of play, they may very well end up with a division title.

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