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Open Apology of Patriot Fans

Open Apology of Patriot Fans
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PATRIOTS FANS APOLOGIZE

The Patriots loss in yet another Conference Championship resulted in an outpouring of joy from fans representing teams which have struggled recently. These we’re not Denver Bronco fans, but just people for whom the Patriots had obviously taken away their right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Their lives have been made miserable by all things Patriot related and any of us who contributed to this needs to consider making amends. While each Patriots supporter must atone for the harm caused others as an individual fan, there are some things for which we must all apologize. The first thing we must acknowledge is why we are Patriot fans in the first place.

NEW ENGLAND: Most of us want to apologize for being born in or now living in New England. This makes the Patriots the “local” team and we became fans because of this.  We are sorry the Patriots claim to represent the 6 states of New England but altogether they are about the size of Georgia with a population a little more than Pennsylvania. We are sorry this little part of the country gets so much attention. We are sorry to live there. We are sorry the Patriots are located there. We are sorry the increasing popularity of the NFL in general has resulted in more fans for all teams and these newcomers are called bandwagon fans.

ROBERT KRAFT: The prior Patriot owners saw themselves as event promoters and the Patriots were just another act hired to perform at their stadium and then a guy that wanted to move the team to St Louis. We apologize that a man who wanted to own a football team purchased the Patriots and improved the team. We apologize this meant more fans. We also apologize to all teams with owners that aren’t like this.

GILETTE STADIUM: We are sorry the same man managed to figure out how to privately finance a new stadium with the millions of dollars of income a NFL team generates. This has made it more difficult for some teams to get the public to pay for new stadiums or improvements. He did get the State of Massachusetts to pay for highway improvements so fans were able to get out of the parking lots the same day the game was held. So there’s that to his credit, but we apologize this meant more fans wanted to go to the games and created more fans.

DREW BELDSOE: We are sorry the Patriots drafted Drew Bledsoe with the 1st pick in 1993 instead of Rick Mirer. The combination of Bledsoe, Parcells, & Kraft ended up with the Patriots going to the Superbowl in 1996 and this meant more fans. (no apology to Buffalo because Bledsoe was traded to them and gave them their last winning season) We apologize for the scouts who recommended Bledsoe and for him increasing the popularity of the Patriots.

BILL BELICHICK: We apologize that Bill Belichick said “screw this” and bolted from the Jets which paired an Owner who wanted to win with a coach who wanted to win. We are also very sorry Belichick liked Tom Brady and did not give Bledsoe his job back. We should not have to apologize for anything Belichick says or does that you read about. This is the fault of the NFL and its rules making coaches available to the press. If it was up to Belichick there would be no press conferences or practices open to the public

TOM BRADY: We are sorry the Patriots saw no one better to spend a 7th round pick on and he ended up being a good quarterback. The NY Jets fans should join in this apology since it was Mo Lewis who injured Drew Bledsoe and made Tom Brady a starter in the 1st place. We are sorry the Tom Brady has had such a good career.  We are sorry for the nationwide tendency of a winning team to generate more attention. This of course has resulted in more fans and spread outside of New England. We apologize to all fans everyone except Seattle fans because at some point Tom Brady has won a game on your home field.

PLAYOFFS:  This Kraft, Belichick, Brady combination has led to the New England Patriots appearing in the playoffs more frequently than seems possible. It only seems like Brady has played in the Conference Champion game half of his career and the Superbowl for a third of it because he has. We would like to apologize for the NFL’s win and you’re in policies that made this possible. We are sorry if the actions of this one team out of 32 has so often meant your team did not appear in these games. We are truly sorry your team doesn’t win as often as you would like.

SPORTS:  Our biggest apology goes to those to whom it appears the Patriots have robbed sports of having any true value. We encourage children to participate in team sports to build certain values. Teamwork, individual effort, and doing ones best are important traits. Regardless of the opponent we teach that hard work, determination, and never quitting are asked of them. We urge them to dig deep into themselves to find these things and once found to use them is all situations they face in life. We apologize to those of you who have lost sight of this and have been reduced to enjoying the defeat of one team more than the victory of the other.
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