Sideline Report Fantasy Recap Week 5- A Kicker’s Revenge

Sideline Report Fantasy Recap Week 5- A Kicker’s Revenge
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Generally speaking, fantasy football is supposed to be fun. It’s a game. It’s a game to play amongst friends and colleagues, relatives, bitter enemies (hey, I’m not going to tell you what to do with your life), whatever. I find it’s a cool thing to give people to talk about and interact with each other. It might even be something that prevents you from wanting to punch a hole in their face like you normally would. The one thing I can’t stand is people who abandon their leagues. And we’ve had one in the D League. Beyond this mention, we are no longer going to mention the team I Love Boobs. Through apparent neglect of the league, and also the team owner there’s a 10 team league that only has 9 owners. It just kinda went unnoticed until this week. I played them last week and in my defense….Jamaal Charles could have been a legit play the week he was activated. I also suppose you could have missed Antonio Gates missing out on the first quarter of the season…Regardless, that team is zeroed out for the next 5 weeks or so until the commissioners set their line ups for the rest of the season.
So let this be a lesson……don’t be a douche canoe please? Play it out. If you’re not interested, say so. If you aren’t sure someone is in, friggin’ contact them and find out. Finally, Steelers fans aren’t to be trusted. Moving on to the games.
D League
Dud’s Studs continues their dominance of the league with a 12 point victory over Le’Veon a Bong 163.5-151.08. This is despite the fact Dud elected to not play a kicker. I suppose when you’re confident in your team you can give Luciano a handicap and still beat him up. There was truly nothing that could have been done for Luciano. His bench didn’t provide any assistance whatsoever so he put out the best he could including the unreal kicking performance by Adam Vinateieri, plus Greg Olsen, and Le’Veon Bell. The let down comes from the single digit performances by Terrelle Pryor, Steve Smith, Sr., and the now shockingly disappointing Will Fuller.
Dud continues to crush opponents and extends his winning streak alive. Big Ben, Larry Fitzgerald, Devonta Freeman, and the Arizona D/ST blew their projections away. Dud can’t seem to do anything wrong and keeps raking in the wins. He sucked out in his Flex spots where he played Marcus Wheaton and Vincent Jackson who barely scored 10 points combined. Again….I’m annoyed that Dud won by 12 points without a kicker drives me nuts. PUT OUT A FULL TEAM!!! Dud moves on to take on Juggernaught. Le’Veon a Bong takes on the dirty quitter and thus an assured victory.
Blow out of the D league this week belongs to Liquor Box shellacking Put Your Drake On 197.36-113.88. If this was little league baseball this would have been called via the mercy rule. Liquor could have taken down the all time points record if he had swapped in Gio Bernard and Tavon Austin for CJ Anderson and DeAndre Washington because both of those long shots would have made sense…There’s nothing much more you can say. Liquor’s roster overachieved all over the place. Rivers nearly doubled his projection, TY Hilton is nuts (but inconsistently so)…the only players who arrived under projections were CJ Anderson and Chandler Cantazaro, the kicker. Really getting sick of these kickers this week.
Put Your Drake On just had an awful day at the office. Anchored (literally…) by Ryan Tannehill and dragged down by Jeremy Hill, DeSean Jackson, Eddie Lacy, and Julian Edelman simply ruined his chances. The lone bright spot Amari Cooper who wrangled in 6 receptions for 138 yards, a TD and a 2 point conversion. Hopefully his activity stays high in the coming weeks and can help things moving forward. Drake moves on to the winless Brady’s Deflated Balls and Liquor Box takes on A Gurley Has No Name.
Dynasty League
I dislike that I have to mention him again Dud’s Studs defeated Tyrod’s Tailor in the biggest “blow out” of the week 159.08-131.56. This game was won on the backs of TY Hilton, Theo Riddick, and Adam Vinatieri (yet again). If I was cooler, I’d try to find out how many teams won this week because they played Vinatieri. I mean….sheesh.
Tyrod was hampered by the piss poor performances of Julio Jones, Robert Woods, and Matt Jones. Not much to be done. There’s no way you take Julio Jones out but maybe take Woods out (homer!) and put in Chris Hogan who keeps going deep and catching Patriot QB passes. Can’t remember that guy’s name though….Heard he might be pretty good though. Tyrod is on to Direwolves in a tough match up and Dud moves on to Fsociety in what looks like it could be a lopsided event in favor of Dud.
If you haven’t been paying attention there are legit no good running backs in the NFL right now. I understand that’s not true, but for the love of Christmas what do you do now that guys like Jeremy Hill, and Eddie Lacy are injured? Well you hope for the absolute best and try to find some semblance of a back up. James Starks is the add in Green Bay and Gio Bernard in Cincinnati but he’s likely not available. You should look to a few others running backs like Orleans Darkwa or Bobby Rainey if you want the Giants backfield, James White in New England is also a great add for PPR, and if you see Bilal Powell of the Jets you should grab him.
Wide Receivers survived for the most part this week so there’s not much needed for replacements, but look for Jeremy Kerley. This is two fold. First, Kerley has been a consistent PPR player and second you never know what will happen when he gets Kaepernick throwing to him. As mentioned during the recap Chris Hogan is a player on the Patriots. If he’s not owned in your league go pick him up. Like…now. Patriots always have value because the Pats run by throwing.
Randomly I have a QB add for you this time. Brian Hoyer in Chicago has been a little nuts since taking over for the walking hemorrhoid, Jay Cutler. 3rd highest scoring QB in fantasy since stepping into the spot. He’s got the Vikings in week 8 and then the bye week, but you should have a good matchup for the next two weeks.
Good luck this week peoples! Go Bills!


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