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Slick Weekly

Slick Weekly
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Week 14 Overreactions

Well another week has come and gone, and once again the AFC East is a wasteland. Three of the four teams lost and all of the playoff hopes and dreams of any team not called The New England Patriots were dashed. At least the draft will be an interesting debate this year.

So, here we go.

In last place, back where they belong, we find the New York Jets. There was some hope around the slums of New Jersey last week that the team would put up one last good fight as a sendoff for Old Rexy. That was close to the case actually. The Jets played some inspired football for a little while and Percy Harvin got some revenge for the made up disrespect he was shown by the Vikings organization (I mean, how dare they grant his wish and trade him to a contender?). The Jets even scored a touchdown in this game AND they forced two, yes count them, two turnovers. But, once again the football gods looked away from the meaningful game they were watching and snatched victory form the Jets, handing them a loss on a 93 (or so) yard screen pass in overtime. Yep, that’s the Jets for you. I want to take this moment to commiserate with the Jets fans. This team could have as many as 7 wins right now if the gods didn’t hate them; maybe Woody should find religion before he picks the next Head Coach and GM?

Next up, we find the rotting carcass of a marine mammal. It took the medical examiners an extra day to identify the corpse as a Dolphin, but I don’t know why the stench of rotting fish didn’t tip them off. Getting handled by the Ravens (the 2014 Ravens no less) is nothing short of embarrassing. I have a feeling that this is how most Dolphin fans felt upon returning home after the game. Tanny was once again “serviceable”, but Lamar Miller and the offensive line were nothing short of offensive. And the defense, don’t get me started on the defense. If that wasn’t the suckiest bunch of sucks ever assembled, then the Jets have done something that hasn’t reached my ears yet. I’m pretty sure that Brent Grimes went home looking for a little consolation and received this. Ahh well, Dolphin fans didn’t really think that this team was actually going to make the playoffs did they? Not this year my friend, not this year.

And in third to last place we find the team that should have, could have, and would have won; had they not been playing a superior opponent, had a pedophile at QB and an incompetent Big East coach. The Bills were the first team in quite some time to hold Peyton Manning without a TD pass- mind you it came at the cost of letting CJ Anderson (a guy that is about as good as Jonas Gray) run wild for three of his own TDs. The score was close, but the game wasn’t. Had the Bills not scored two garbage time TDs, they might have found themselves below the Jets on this list. The Bills Mafia’s hope and optimism have gone and were replaced by yet another cold grey winter. At this point I say bring EJ back out and see if he has anything, because this year’s draft has two QBs that even have a shot of being good NFL QB’s (I doubt either will be one though) and both will be gone at least 32 picks before the Bills get a chance to take their first guy (unless of course Terry and Kim want to mortgage their entire ownership tenure by trading for a 1st rounder in this year’s draft). This is a day as sad as the one where Jessica Simpson discovered that buffalos don’t actually have wings. See ya next year Bills!

And in first place, as always, we find the New England Patriots. It’s kind of sad because this would have been an easy week for any of the other teams in the division to knock the Pats off this post, really all they would have done is win. The Pats offense looked like a team that was on the final hours of a long road trip and wanted nothing more than for the game to be over so they could get home. Brady was average, Blount looked blunted, Gronk was a beast (but that’s a bit of a step down for him) and Nate Soldier looked like a revolving door. I mean when is the last time that the Pats hadthree red zone trips in one half and came away with only two field goals? Lucky for Patriot Nation, the defense is becoming really, really good. Holding Philip Rivers and Co to 200 yards of total offense is nothing to sneeze at and they really only gave up 7 points to boot.

It’s hat and t-shirt week in Foxboro this Sunday, so everyone get their popcorn ready, this could be a show.

 

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