Slick’s 2018 Week 7 Overreactions

Slick’s 2018 Week 7 Overreactions
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Oof.  That was ugly.  The 2018 season has seen ups and downs for our little band of teams.  And week 7 showed us some downs like we’ve yet to see.  Some will blame injuries, others will say “That’s just how Bill wanted it to play out,” but the rest of us know that we’ve got three and a half shitty teams in this division.  Let’s get right to it…
Last place the Bills. The Bills scored enough runs to win most baseball games played in October, unfortunately for the Bills, they are a football team and 5 points will rarely win you anything.  There’s not a whole lot to say here, except that Nathan Peterman is so terrible that the idea of starting a street free agent who wasn’t on the roster about ten days ago was a more palatable decision. Then, when said street free agent sucks like you would expect from a guy in that situation, the coaching staff stuck with him because they knew that Peterman would be worse.  Didn’t you guy just get a new GM that everyone was all erect about last year?  Whose shitty decision was it to enter the season with Peterman and Josh Allen as your only options at QB?  I don’t even really know what else to say here…The defense, which is supposed to be the strength of this team, looked like the French Elite Special Forces defending Paris from the Germans.  How can it be that a team with a very good group of front seven players could not touch Captain Andrew Luck even once?  The Colts’ offensive line sucks.  Do the Bills just suck worse?  Oh well, 2034 is right around the corner if you think of it in cosmic terms…


Second to last place the Dolphins.  This is mainly because they got their asses kicked by a worse team than their competition. The Brocktoberfest celebration went a little late into the night after the Fins were gifted a victory by the Bears last week and the hangover is ongoing.  I mean at least when the Pats got their asses kicked by the Lions it was a road game.  But to bring a team from the frozen tundra of the Midwest down to the 100 degree heat of a Miami October and get utterly humiliated like that is just unacceptable. Adam Gase really should have been fired during his post game press conference.  But hey, the fans of the Dolphins have become numb to this kind of thing by now, so shitty QB play and terrible coaching is just what defines Dolphin football.  Can you believe there are still fans who go on and on about the events of 45+ years ago? Let’s talk about the future.  The Fins look as if they might be entering sell mode in advance of next week’s trade deadline, unfortunately they don’t appear to have much merchandise that anyone may want.  Rumor has it they’ve been asking for a 3rdin the 2019 draft for Iron man Parker.  That strange sound you hear over the horizon is the sound of every other GM laughing raucously at Dynamite Dawn and her puppet Mikey T.  4-12 is probably going to happen.


Third to last place, the Jets.  The Jets suck, we know that.  And I think some of the Jets’ “media elite” are coming around to the fact that young Skywalker may not be the chosen one after all.  On the plus side, this week his INT to TD ratio was only 3:1, getting better…Another positive, the Jets were able to keep it close for a quarter…before getting their teeth kicked in for the final 45 minutes of the game. Lucky for Todd Bowles, he was asleep for the final three quarters, so if you ask him, the jets actually were pretty close to winning.  Let’s talk about the Jets’ defense.  We’ve been hearing for a while now how the Jets’ defense is underrated and they are really better than people give them credit for.  Can we please stop this?  They suck horribly, Jamal Adams is not good, Mo Claiborne reads at the four year old level and the only guy that is really any good in the front seven is Leonard Williams.  And when your best player is a defensive tackle that isn’t named Aaron Donald, you are in serious trouble.  The Jets are bad, but we all expected that.  Moving on…


In fourth to last place this week, the Patriots.  The Pats scored more points than the Bears this week, but I will not call them winners. What a disgrace this defense is. They let Mitch Tannehill pick them apart all day, both through the air and on the ground.  This team is so bad they allowed Mitch to score a TD  that was straight out of Bill Walsh College football ’95, just roll out, run backwards, then run to the other side of the field and walk into the endzone.  When I saw that, I damn near broke my friend’s TV.  Had I been home and it was my own TV, I would definitely have been TV shopping yesterday.  This defense is without a doubt, the worst of the Belichick era, and it is not getting any better.  Without fourteen points from the special teams, there is a good chance the Pats get blown out by the Bears.  Think about this Pats fans; your “Genius” HC is such a terrible GM that he can have the best QB of all time playing for half of the market value of an average NFL QB and you still can’t figure out a way to manage your money well enough to actually add talent to the roster.  Belichick loves to overpay special teamers, a “third” of the game that is being de-emphasized by the day, but he still can’t find someone that can catch a punt.  God he sucks at roster building.  Oh there was a positive on the day, Sony Michel did not in fact completely shred his knee like everyone feared, so the pats still have one player from their 2018 draft class who is not in IR.


Football is stupid. At least we may get to see the first 1,000 to -10 score in a CFB game when FSU attempts to suit up against Dabo’s boys this weekend…

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