2018 Week 1 Overreactions – Well that was Surprising (well except one game)
Holy crap, it’s finally here! The long, long offseason of misery is over; and we got our first taste of what the season has in store for us. And wholly hell was I surprised. So, in lieu of a long preamble, let’s go.
From worst to first.
In last place, the Buffalo Bills. So it was just about a week or so ago that I was being ridiculed and scoffed at for “not watching the games” (preseason games mind you) as I told you all that Nathan Peterman was a horrible Quarterback that had no business being on an NFL roster and the Bills were stupid for cutting AJ McCarron. Well lookey here, Vinny was right again. Completing 70 or so percent of your passes in the preseason means nothing. Here’s Mr. Peterman’s stat line for the day: 5 of 18 with two interceptions. That works out to a passer rating of 0.0, Mr. Blutarski. The rest of the Bills were equally as bad, KB is back to being a fat, lazy, bum who would rather eat wings than get out and exercise. The defense. I thought the Bills were supposed to have been building a defense with a fancy new head coach of a defensive pedigree? Yeah, you gave up 47 points to Joe Flacco. Methinks I may have over-estimated the Bills’ ceiling for this season…
Now that that ugliness is behind us, let’s move on to the winners. And all of the historical events of the week.
Third place goes to the Dolphins. The Fins and Titans endured a fair amount of rain, wind and lightning to play “the longest game in NFL history”…Now if any record deserves an asterisk, it’s that one. The game lasted over 7 hours, they only actually played for like 3. So what happened in the game..? Not a lot. Tanny made his triumphant return to the field and managed the game nicely. Kenny Stills continues to overachieve and the defense did just enough to get by. Basically it was your typical Dolphins game. Got the fans all lubed up, and now the rest of us have to hear about their “potential” as they wade through a 6-10 season…In other news, the ex-Patriots on the Dolphins were not so good, the ones on the Titans were very good.
And in second place the New Y…No, the New England Patriots. The Pats were pretty good, quite honestly a lot better than I expected. The offense struggled as expected when you have no receivers on the roster and Josh McDaniels’ play calling is as frustrating as ever, but Rob Gronkowski is still a super freak and Tom Brady might be the most unrelatable weirdo to ever grace the NFL, but he’s excellent at football. So the offense was fine. And wholly hell, that looks lie a defense. This is something that has been fairly non-existent throughout the decade or so we’ve been enduring Matt Patricia’s rocket scientist defensive scheme. New addition Adrian Claiborne was good and Tre Flowers continues to be one of the most underrated pass rushers in the league. And if I’m not mistaken, that Ja’Waun Bentley fella looks like an actual NFL caliber linebacker. Now I will not completely discredit the Texans’ complete inability to be a functioning team, but rumor has it the Pats are responsible for that…
On to this week’s champs. The New York Jets. Who saw that coming? The Jets just ruined the Lions. Like embarrassingly bad. The Jets have only one man to thank for this, their savior, Sam “Anakin” Darnold. Ani’s night didn’t start well, his first ever NFL pass was intercepted and returned for a touchdown. And that was about the last thing to go right for the Lions and wrong for the Jets. This was domination the likes we haven’t seen in years, Robbie Anderson and Quincy Enunwa were uncoverable and the re-tooled running game was like nothing in recent memory. Once again, it all comes back to Anakin’s superior knowledge of the force. He is able to move defenders out of the way, confuse their pass rush and even use his powers to confound Matt Stafford. Come to think of it…this is an abomination to the integrity of the game and the league needs to investigate.
This article is over….I need to draft a letter to the league office.