AFCE

Way Too Early: Jets Edition

Way Too Early: Jets Edition
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Time to tell the future kiddos. The Jets have not been relegated yet again and are looking to build upon their offseason hype with actual real wins. Contrary to what anyone thinks about Zach Wilson the Mormon Missile is on a Mormon Mission not to knock on your door to spread the word but invite himself into your house to ruin your Sundays. Luckily for Jets fans they won’t be ruining any Holidays this year, right Mark? Ok moving on, here it is the Jets 2022 season prediction with wins and very inaccurate predicted scores. HERE. WE. GO.
 
For clarity all of these predictions that I’m about to make include Zach Wilson taking a step forward which if he doesn’t will make me look silly but you’re all a bunch of internet randos so whatever.
 

Ravens

– The one-dimension Ravens shockingly lose to the new look Jets. This game is all based on the Jets ability to contain the run. Adding Jermaine Johnson will push my boy, and Finfan’s favorite, JFM back inside. The combo of Quinnen and JFM should plug the gut. The edge is set with a healthy Lawson and Johnson, who when asked about setting the edge responded with, “You have to earn the right to rush the passer and that happens on first and second down”, should help here. Run on sentences is the only thing the Ravens get here as they won’t gain much on the ground outside of Lamar. I don’t have much faith in moving the ball uber effectively either against the Ravens defense but the Jets shock the Ravens week 1.

Final Score Jets 24, Ravens 22

 

Browns

– Will undoubtedly be the most inaccurate prediction because I have no idea who will be playing at QB Here. But guess what, even though Vegas has overwhelming odds that Deshaun will be suspended, I am a degenerate and I’m fading the public like good degenerate gamblers do. Jets not only beat the Browns and sack-loving Briskett, but they also feast on him on and off the field.

Final Score Jets 24 Browns 17

 

Bengals

– This is where the fun ends. Not only will Sauce be lost in the Sauce trying to contain Jamar Chase, but he will also likely let up his first 2 NFL TDS since HS, as that man is unstoppable. I really think the Bengals are overrated but they still win this one here. The Bengals will jump out to a significant lead early and the game will tighten up. A few mistakes by Zach will have the defense reeling. Dear Bengals fans you are overrated, and I want you to be offended by this remark.

Bengals 33 Jets 17

 

Steelers

– Mitchell. What a name for a 20 something year old kid, that name should have been retired with the Baby Boomers. Steelers have a great defense but there is no way that I trust Mr. Briskett the deuce to beat us. Granted theres no reason why Steeler fans shouldn’t be sitting here saying the same thing about Wilson after last season. I get that, also if you see this. War you are fat. Jets win just like we did last time they didn’t have Big Ben playing for them.

Jets 21 Steelers 17

 

Dolphins

– So much to say but also so little to say. The Jets biggest strength is their DL and until Miami shows me otherwise their OL as I’m making this prediction is not good. The system and Terron can change that but I need to see it first. The battle of the offseason championship should have stayed in the offseason. Both teams will showcase strong defense and give the opposing underwhelming qbs a difficult time. In the end the Jets lose because I have to have them losing some games or I’m a homer and a hater. I think the Jets could win this game at home, young teams gonna have bad losses. Make sure you fin fans re read this when I said a bad loss. I’m saying this because youre team isn’t good. Miami pulls off a stunner in front of a shocked crowd of tourists who just fell victim to the biggest scam in history. Paying 200 a ticket for the Jets and driving to the middle of the parkway to witness it.

Fins 21 Jets 16

 

Green Bay

– Not much to say here Jets lose, its cold in GB, Rodgers is pretty good, his WRs are pretty bad but I’m not going to bet against him knowing last time we played in Green Bay we started the game up something like 30-9 and still lost. Fond memories.

GB 35 Jets 26

(I didn’t even calculate how hard it would be to end up at 26 and I don’t care but its possible, how do I know its possible, Iyce Maths, you should buy it).
 

Broncos

– Broncos are probably the most underrated team in the AFCW. Their arsenal on offense should not be overshadowed by how good that defense is. Russell Wilson and Elways Bronco like Teeth come in and chow down on the Jets and this one is never close.

Broncos 34 Jets 21

 

Patriots

– The Mac Jones led Patriots can only be compared to one other team in history. The 98-2017 Spurs. Boring yet effective. I don’t think Mac is any special but he can drive the bus. I don’t see any weapon on the patriots offense that strikes fear in the hearts of opponents akin to the way Sanchez dropping back to throw a pass struck fear in Jets fans. This game comes down to how both OLS play and which QB makes less mistakes. Also, do the Patriots have any good cbs anymore? I already told you that I fade the public and there are very little times that I’m ever going to predict the Jets to beat the Pats. This is at home, the public will be all over the Pats here, I’m fading and saying Jets win. It will be close because I still can’t comprehend how to predict a blowout win for the Jets having went through all this trauma the last 10 years. Jets win at home.

Jets 27 Patriots 24

 

Bills

– This one isn’t going to be pretty in my estimation. Bills 42 Jets 28 and I will argue that 2 of the touchdowns that were scored at the end were not in garbage time because I will do whatever it takes to trick myself into believing that we have something to build on. Why not?

Bills 42 Jets 28

 
BYE – WE WIN! WE WIN! Unless of course someone gets arrested or hurt.
 

Patriots

– Going to be tough to beat the Patriots 2x in a season and even harder when they spy on the opposing locker rooms and tape your practices. But I’m not a man of excuses, I’m a man of facts (and mathematics for that matter). In all serious I do think Jets closed the gap on most of the AFCE when it comes to talent but Saleh-mander gets outcoached here and Bill schemes Zach into making mistakes. Patriots win.

Patriots 19 Jets 16

 

Bears

– Bears have a horrible roster and spent this years offseason in FA and the draft not addressing any of their needs on the Bears OL. This lines up well for the Jets and they smack around the Bears.

Jets 34 Bears 21

 

Vikings

– If there’s one QB that wears eyeshadow I like its Kirk Cousin. Even if he plays Deacon Jones in Bluestreaks that’s just a movie, he’s a good guy and I in fact…Like that. Vikings are in the middle of fighting for a playoff spot and this is just another easy win on their schedule until it isn’t. Jets upset the Vikings in true Vikings fashion.

Jets 34 Vikings 28

 

Bills

– Its ugly once again. But the good news is, its expected. The refs will be the only reason the Bills win this one. It’s a close one.

Bills 38 Jets 18

 

Lions

– Ryan Gosling does not play football well.

Jets 21 Lions 18

 

Jaguars

– If you didn’t like the marquee matchup of the 1 pick vs the 2 pick last year in what was arguably one of the ugliest displays of Quarterbacking since December 17th 2012 when the Sanchez Lead Jets took on the Locker led Titans amassing for a whopping 280 yards through the air combined and 4 Ints (All Sanchez), then you probably won’t like this one either. Zach Vick likely won’t provide the same highlight scramble, but I will be scrambling for the bottle after watching this matchup. Only kidding, I really think both teams improved tenfold and this one should be close but I’m a jets fan and I expect to win this one. The Jags OL will not be able to sustain the Jets DL.

Jets 27 Jaguars 17

 

Seahawks

– The Seahawks are a bad team. Really bad. So much so that its really really bad. The Seahawks are obsessed with drafting early round Running Backs when they are in desperate help elsewhere. Jets travel to Chaz and smack the Seahawks.

Jets 25 Seahawks 14

 

Dolphins

– At this point in time I need to stop writing and go back and count how many Jets wins I predicted. If we are fighting for a playoff spot, we lose this game. If the Fins are fighting for a playoff spot, they lose this game. Whoa, I have the Jets total win count sitting at 9 coming into this game (go Iyce maths!). That’s what predicting an upset vs the Vikings and pissing off Patriot fans will do to you. Jets lose to the lowly fins since we don’t have any players and Raat was right. Both teams miss playoffs, and we sail into the offseason. At least I’ll have the Mets, Nets, Redwings, a house!
 
Thanks for reading this. I tried to make it fun and full of surprises along the way. Wasn’t really sure how to predict this season because I do feel like the Jets roster is above average however, the QB play is key to it all. Have no idea what way it will go. Cheers to you all and have a fun season. Remember it’s not about winning its about winning games that count instead of winning meaningless games to move you 1 slot away from a generational type prospect.

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