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A Bahamian Overreaction to the New England Patriots

A Bahamian Overreaction to the New England Patriots
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During the course of my week of slowly marinating my body in rum and sunshine down in the Bahamas, I found myself one evening drinking Bahamian moonshine with a pair ruperts legendof locals who surprisingly were big NFL fans (and really could probably each be a decent DT because they make Vince look like tinkerbell…).  One was a Jet fan (so we’ll take his advice with a grain of salt) and the other a 49ers fan (so we know which one will complain about this post…).  What they had to say about the season was in my eyes pretty accurate though- “The Pats beat themselves by being cheap,” and “Peyton Manning shat himself when guys started hitting him,”

Both of these are very astute observations and got me all pissed off at Mr.’s Kraft and Belichick all over again.  I’m not saying having or not having Wes Welker was the two boatsdifference in that game against the Broncos for the Pats, but I am saying I’d rather have him than Dannny “The Paper Mache Tiger” Amendola.  I’m not saying that not having a wide receiver that is both over 6’1” and a not a rookie was the difference in the Patriots season, but I sure would have rather had one than none.  I’m not saying that Steve Gregory and Kyle Arrington aren’t the worst safety and corner in the NFL, but—wait, yes I am saying that.  Man, I freaking hate those guys…But I digress…

Back to the advice that Ben and Bernard had for Belichick and Kraft…First to Bill they said, “Quit being such a dick.”  Then when pressed for more football related insight they both agreed that the Pats probably would have had the honor of getting smoked by the sailingSeahawks if only they had a big wide receiver (actually one wanted Randy Moss, the other wanted TO so I’d say their hearts are in the right place, just that news doesn’t seem to get there very fast).  And I completely agree.  If the Patriots actually valued their QB as much as they value getting great value on every draft pick or free agent signing, they’d probably have at least three more trophies in the case.  Because forcing Brady to do more with less is just plain stupid in my eyes.  You have the greatest QB in the history of the game (arguably), surround him with other great players and great things will happen- it’s common sense.

To Mr. Kraft, their advice was simple, “Stop being such a cheap ass.”  Now, anyone who has been to Patriot Place in Foxboro will know that Kraft is far from cheap, but if you only watch his football team I can see why you’d think that he is the stereotypical stingy billionaire.  Can we start a petition to force Bobby to sell that joke of a team that plays in that joke of a league I heard is called the MLS?  What a waste of resources that is…If Kraft on his boys would just focus all of their considerable talent, wealth and intelligence on only the Patriots this team would be an unstoppable force for the next decade too.

There you have it, their moonshine was smooth, the coconut water was fresh and their football knowledge was surprisingly accurate (except that Drew Brees is the best QB in the NFL…).

(The boats in the pictures were built by the Knowles brothers- Ben and Bernard- the design of them was created by their father and grandfather who have been recognized by the Smithsonian for their work in keel design.  The guy with the dreadssailing on Rupert’s Legend is a younger, slimmer Ben)

By David Monte

 

Today:

At 2:00 pm  Patriots Offseason Positional
                         Breakdown: Offensive Line

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