Slick’s 2018 Wk4 Overreactions

Slick’s 2018 Wk4 Overreactions
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Ahhh… Heading into the weekend, the world was all upside down. The Bills were riding high after their defeat of one of the best teams in the league, the Fins were undefeated and the Pats were cruising towards a top 5 pick. (Really it was only the Jets who have lived up to their sucky hype). But the weekend came and went and the world was righted. So let’s get right after it.
Last place; The Bills. It was great a ride while it lasted Bills fans, but you are back on track to make your annual mistake in the top half of the draft. I know Bills fans think that they are going to be bad enough to get their pick of the litter next year, but remember, these are the Bills. They will let you down, even if your only desire is to see them fail (and they play home games against the Dolphins and Jets every year so the #1 pick is never going to happen). Josh Allen, the star of so many internet memes last week saw his life come crashing down around him. He completed less than half his passes for next to zero yards and two picks. Not good. But lucky for him, Shady McCoy was back to take some of the load off… but Shady is just a load at this point in his career. His 24 yards are more of an insult to Bills fans than if he refused to give back the jewelry they bought him. (Just make sure you are out of state and have an“agreement” with the cops when it goes down) Although, I might be coming down a little hard on the Bills, they were battling the refs as well as the Packers. Oh well, winter has arrived in Buffalo, so at least we’ll get some good videos of stupid humans doing stupid things.
Next to last, the Dolphins. It has been 3,364 days since the Dolphins last won a game in Foxboro. But it’s OK, there were Fin fans out there that actually thought Ryan “The Miami Mannequin” Tannehill could actually get it done (nickname courtesy of Chris Gasper, Boston Globe). Boy were they wrong. We saw what happens to the Dolphins when they get to play a team that isn’t absolutely terrible, they lose terribly. This game had everything you expect from a Fins game, Kiko flying around trying to lay dirty hits on people, The Mannequin watching a snap fly by him and a run defense that resembled the US border with Mexico. All of that added up to a game that was over by the 6 minute mark in the third quarter. Tanny even got benched, what a joke it was for this team to be ranked in the top 10 in the NFL
last week. Back to #30, where you belong.
And in third to last, only because the other two teams are just so incredibly terrible; the Jets. I’m going to give you guys some information that you may not have been aware of prior to this very moment. It’s probably going to come as a shock to you. The Jets suck at football. I figured out the problem with Anakin and why he has been unable to achieve the heights that are expected of such a great young man with such high awareness, he’s blind. Just look at him, all that’s missing in that picture is the blacked out glasses and cane. So now that we’ve identified this issue, I can no longer make fun of him. So on to the defense! I read somewhere that the defense was actually pretty effective on Sunday. At halftime, Blake Bortles had attempted 11 passes and completed all of them. Also the Jets’ vaunted defense was in a 16-0 hole. Sure, very effective…There’s really not much new to talk about here, Sleepy Todd woke up around halftime and inspired his team to score a few garbage time points so he can keep his job for another year… Woooo, go Jets.
And thanks to intra-divisional play, we did have one winner this week. So let’s get onto them…
First place (finally) goes to The New England Patriots. The Pats welcomed the Dolphins into Foxboro for their annual spanking, and they spanked them good. On their opening drive, the Pats were giving a sweet assist from the refs, drove down the field, and then had their drive fizzle out. Ahhh….looking like a 2018 Pats game alright…But then, not even the Pats’ ineptitude could outdo that of the Dolphins’. The Pats turned the corner and then just slapped the Fins around for the rest of the first half. Josh Gordon caught two balls and has yet to be suspended for drugs or alcohol, that’s bad news for opposing defenses. The defense looked like they actually knew what they were doing and rookie sensation Sony “Playstation” Michel looked like a young Barry Sanders. The first four weeks are over; Brady is getting his boyfriend back. Watch out NFL.

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