Older AFCE

Slick’s Week 12 Overreactions – The Big 200

Slick’s Week 12 Overreactions – The Big 200
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Well another week has come and gone and once again we saw much of the division win. And the Jets also played (but to be fair they played the Pats, so covering the spread is kind of a win). Let’s get right after it.
 
In last place, we find what appears to be the permanent resident, the gangrenous New York Jets. As stated previously, the Jets got to play the Pats this week at home. The jets always play the Pats tough and so they did. But alas, the Jets are the Jets and they found a way to lose. The game started by the Jets forcing the Pats into a “three and out”. It really wouldn’t have been so had the Pats not taken some of Todd sleepy pills before the game. Dion Lewis was tacked on third down and given a very generous spot; that everyone at home and in the stadium, knew was easily overturnable. The Jets allowed the entire play clock to run down and waited for the Pats to call timeout before shaking Sleepy awake and having him throw the challenge flag. But aside from that, the Jets played very tough in the first half, Fitz continued the long line of below average QBs to shred the Pats’ porous secondary and had the chance to go into the half up 13-3. Then they had their late FG attempt blocked and allowed the Pats to drive right down and score a game tying TD. The second half continued much the same way. The Jets led most of the way, then shat themselves down the stretch, allowing the Pats to drive down the field for a go-ahead TD. Then Fitz went all Fitz and got himself strip sacked to lose the game. There’s your 2016 Jets folks, looks like I overestimated them with my preseason prediction of 6-10.
 
And once again, we only have to endure one paragraph of loserdom. On to the winners! Although the three teams that were vanquished all suck and it took all each of our teams had to fell them. So, we rank them in order of the draft position of the opponents.
 
In third place, the Miami Dolphins. It took all that Fish had to thwart the terrible 49ers. Tanny and company muddled their way through an ugly matchup en-route to their 6th consecutive win, a win that has landed them in the 6th playoff spot if the season were to end today. But it doesn’t. The 49ers are the worst run defending team in the league and Jay Aj#$@yi was only able to manage 47 yards; not good. As for the defense…They allowed Kneeling Kaepernick to throw for nearly 300 yards and 3 TDs, which is not very promising. But hey, a win is a win and that’s what happened. If the Fins can hold serve, they will be in the playoffs with a chance to lose to the winner of the AFC West. My preseason prediction of 9-7 is within reach.
 
In second place, we have the Buffalo Bills. The Bills welcomed old friend (and winningest head coach in recent history) back to Orchard Park along with his new team the Jacksonville Jaguars. As we all know, the Jags suck an enormous bag of dicks. The first half looked bleak for the Bills, it seems that Rex and company took their opponent very lightly. But finally in the third quarter, the Bills took their first lead of the game, only to give it right up. Tyrod Taylor showed once again that he’s not really an NFL Quarterback, but if the Bills are able to find a QB in an upcoming draft, he will probably make a very good “Slash” style WR. The defense has been playing a little better, although they did struggle in the first half, which probably made their new Offensive Coordinator a little uneasy with his job security. The biggest news of the day for the Bills was that oft-injured “Clemson Guy” Sammy Watkins made his triumphant return to the lineup and led the team in receiving yards- with 80 on only 3 catches. Hey but just like with the Fins, a win is a win and my preseason prediction of 7-9 is a very real possibility.
 
And first place. The New England Patriots. The Pats won a rock fight with the lowly Jets, it was ugly and they probably didn’t deserve to win. But as they normally do, they finished the game with the lead and Tom Brady has now tied Peyton Manning for the most wins by a QB in NFL history with 200 (it took Brady like 31 less games to get there by the way). The Pats started the game very sloppily, they gave away a gift 1st down by calling a timeout and giving the Jets and extra two minutes or so to wake up Sleepy Todd in order to throw the challenge flag. The defense still sucks horribly, but at least when they rush more than 2 players they are now able to get some pressure. What was really scary was that the lone “bright” spot in the secondary Malcolm Butler had easily his worst game of the season, he salvaged it by making a great play and forcing a key fumble when the game was about to get away from the Pats. With Butler not covering anyone very well, and the rest of the secondary being what they are (terrible), the Pats made Fitz look like 2015 Fitz for most of the game. Of course Stephen Gostkowski shanked a kick, that’s just become part of his game. But soon to be suspended weed smoker Allan Branch blocked a FG of his own and we actually had a Chris Long sighting so the defense did just enough to squeeze out a win. Not sure if the schedule is difficult enough for the Pats to sink to my 12-4 preseason prediction.

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